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Life, the Universe, and Everything

on July 29, 2011 - 11:32pm

Wow, is 1:12 am when I am starting this entry...I have to say, ever since July 8th (when Josh came so close to me I nearly hyperventilated), I have not been able to go to bed consistently at a decent hour. 1 or 2am is not uncommon. Which is AWESOME when I want to get up at 6 or 7am to keep doing homework. *Sigh* Anyway, today I have an excuse for being up this late...I took a nap earlier! Because I had a migraine. So much fun...I haven't had one in about 12 years! Called into work, but ended up going in a couple hours later. I knew they needed my expertise (actually, no, I just knew I could get the job done quickly).

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If I could stop the winds of change...

on March 17, 2009 - 4:15pm

So many things are coming up - big life milestones. Makes me think of the lyrics from a HSM3 song:
I've got a lot of things
I have to do
All these distractions
Our futures coming soon
We're being pulled
A hundred different directions
But whatever happens
I know I've got you...

So many things have happened this past year. Big things. Things for which I've been waiting 22 years (like my FIRST KISS!!!), things I really wanted to happen.

But things are about to change in an unprecedented way. I graduate from college in 1.5 months. I've never felt so unsure about the future. Graduating from high school is easy; college is waiting for you. But after college (in this economy), what is there? I'm looking forward to some sort of independent life, but that won't happen for a little while...I thought maybe I'd have someone with whom I could jump into the abyss of the unknown, but he knows where he's jumping, and he also knew he couldn't take me with him. I've never liked a guy as much as I like him, and even though I knew it wouldn't last long, it hurts. A lot. Granted, the hurt has faded, but it is definitely still there. It's been a month. I really miss him. I've seen him twice, but only momentarily. I miss our talks. I miss his hugs. I miss his kisses. I miss knowing someone was thinking about me. On the other hand, I have been able to throw myself into academics, with great results. But I really miss talking to him. I'm not sure how to handle it because I've never been in this position before. I don't regret anything, but I wish things could have gone differently at the same time. I hate to think that because dating didn't work out, I lost a friend. If he and I had just stayed friends...but I can't go there. For a first experience, I am very very glad it was him - someone I admire and respect, in addition to being a person for whom I cared deeply for years. To go from all that to nothing is impossibly hard (my feelings of respect and admiration are still there, but...he's absent). And it makes me very sad. But things will get better in time.

Josh always helps make me smile. :)

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on April 25, 2007 - 8:46am

Yay! I got my tickets to the August 10th show in St. Paul! My best friend and I will be in row 16, center floor, seats 1 & 2! I'm excited 'cuz then I think we'll be on the end of the row, on an aisle. We were in like row 33 at his show in Mpls in 2005. So this is way better! It'd still be cool to get those front row tickets, but I'm not really complaining! I'm really happy with the way it turned out!

Now, the question is: Can I concentrate on my Spanish research paper?!

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on April 10, 2007 - 7:41pm

ARG! This is so stupid! I can't get into an Upper Division Spanish class, and the profs AND the department chair are being RIDICULOUS! First of all, they don't have enough spots open in each class. (I appreciate the "small class sizes," but when you have MAJORS who can't get into the REQUIRED classes, you have a problem.) So, they open up a new section 'cuz they had a handful of people who were in my same predicament. But OF COURSE, I can't TAKE that course because it's during a DIFFERENT required course for my OTHER major. The profs absolutely refuse to let me into any of the sections 'cuz they're closed, and they say "Wait for people to move around and change their schedules," only THERE'S NOWHERE FOR THEM TO GO! If there were spots open, I'D TAKE ONE! Aaaah! If I can't get into a Spanish course for next fall, there's no way I can finish the major on time and there's no way I can afford to go to another semester of college. Plus, I don't want to be a super senior. They act like their hands are tied, but it seems to me that I'm the only person in this situation. GRRR! I'm so frustrated about it! I could drop the major, but I'm really determined NOT to. I've spent too many years of my life speaking this language (albeit not very well sometimes), and I'm not giving up now, but they're making it pretty gosh darn hard to stay so determined.

*SIGH* Okay. Better now.

On the plus side, Josh is coming to MN in August. Huzzah!

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Can't Wait

on November 29, 2006 - 5:20pm

Ohhh, I love this season...okay, so I could do without the cold, but...I LOVE Christmas-time. Soooo much fun. Yes, there are finals to be worrying about, but there's also glittery decorations, lots of lights and bows and ornaments...lots of good cheer. Hot chocolate. Candy canes. Snow. (There's no snow yet, but hey, it's Minnesota. Just give it time.) Holiday parties! Christmas music!

I love it all!

I can't wait until I'm done with finals so I can go home and help my mom get ready for our annual Christmas Eve party. All my aunts, uncles, and cousins come over to my house on the 24th and we eat, open presents, etc. Very fun! It will also be fun to be home for a month! Can't wait!



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