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rumors of no third leg???

on September 5, 2007 - 11:21pm

so, a lot of us are having PCD, and i guess i'm having something akin to that...i just feel kind of blah about it, and feel that my josh craziness has gone into a kind of dormancy now that he is off the road. i'm not all that worked up about the xmas cd, even though i know it will be an instant classic. i'm concerned that there will not be a third leg of the tour, and i have to ask---was it because all of the venues didn't sell out???? i know san diego did not, in april, nor did the stockton show---a miserable 2/3 of the arena was filled, and it's a small venue of only 9000---this is so sad!!! i'm sure all the bay area and central valley grobies were there, and i'm sure they made josh feel welcomed and loved, but playing to a house that is 1/3 empty has to be disheartening. in san diego, they blamed it on it being the opening night for the Padres....hey, i'm a huge dodger fan, but if i had to choose between seeing josh, and seeing my darling dodgers, i'd see josh any day of the year!!! the dodgers play 81 games at home...i'd be content to see one of those other 80 games....i wonder if any other venues had available seats left....i can understand people not wanting to be back in the rafters and nosebleed section, but, for shows not to be sell-outs...well, i just don't get it....not after all of his exposure on talk shows, american idol, etc....
anyway.....i'm not feeling depressed....i don't feel like spending a lot of time on the boards now....i'll peek in from time to time, add my two cents' worth and leave. i know i'm not OD'ed on josh--no way--so i don't know what it is. just not feeling any excitement now, i guess...

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boy, i've heard this one before...

on August 31, 2007 - 1:20am

i just quit my job cuz of the stress, and now, an old friend has written me and told me how horrible her job is...as ugly as my job was, hers is 10x worse. she is desperately in need of a change of scenery. i gave her advice to quit--we are both taurus, and i know where she's coming from....i hope the dear woman listens to her heart, her doctor and her therapist and gets the hell outta dodge, cuz it's making her life miserable....she's in an abusive relationship--not with her husband, but her boss. i hope she leaves and finds her smile again.

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THUNDERSTORMS!!!

on August 29, 2007 - 11:16pm

there is almost nothing i love more than an electrical storm. we get them so infrequently, that when we do get some, it's such a treat. right now, there are a few flashes of lightning and some distant rumbling outside....i should be out there in the rain, looking for the lightning. there is something about how the ionization of the air feels during these storms that just makes me feel revved up and exhilarated....those of you who live in the rockies, or the desert, or anywhere that has frequent storms probably think nothing of them, but i adore them, and i'm going outside to experience it..goodnight..

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still unemployed

on August 29, 2007 - 12:49am

i ended up giving up that job. i talked to the supervisor, and gave her my reasons, which i think are valid....i knew i'd be quitting as soon as i found something else, and they were so nice, i didn't want to leave them in the lurch...then there is the money issue...i need to have as much money as possible, and i get more from unemployment than i would have working---take out taxes, gas and the occasional clothing expenditure, and i'd be digging a hole every week. it made more sense to me to wait for something with more hours and better pay than to take the first job that came along. also, i was flattered into taking it,flattered that they seemed to like me so much...after you've had so many interviews where they didn't like you enough to hire you, you get a little desperate for some positive feedback, and i ate it up. but that's no reason to take a job. i knew i would not be happy with two jobs---it's hard enough finding one, then, to try to find another that would work around the hours at the first one---well, that's just not likely to happen. i didn't want to work weekends, and i knew i'd have to in order to make myself valuable to another employer. i worked for 27 years in a hospital, doing every other weekend (often, more than that), and taking turns with working the holidays, and now that i'm 52 years old, i don't feel like dealing with that. i think i've earned my weekends off.
if i sound selfish and whiney, too bad. you get to a point where you give and give and put yourself last---for your husband, for your kids, for your job---and then you hit a point where you realize that it's OKAY to put yourself first, and that's where i am. my requirements for a job were:
--would i be happy there?
--would it be enough money?
--will i get a reasonable schedule with enough hours?
all of the answers had to be "yes", and unfortunately, that job didn't fit my criteria. if loving the job was enough, without regard to the money aspect, i'd be working on my holiday crafts to sell. that made me very happy, but it's a seasonal thing, and the other eight months of the year, i made no money....so, it has to be more than just liking the job. i'm not made of money, and that lottery just seems to not want to cooperate!!!
it upsets me that my husband does not support me in this. he thinks that collecting unemployment, even for a month or two, is like being on welfare, and demonstrates a laziness and lack of ambition. this is the third time i've done it---and i've been working for 35 years. the first time, i was laid off, then called back to the job within a few months, but i found another job in the interim. the second time, the hospital i worked at was closed down by the corporate office. this time, i'm out of work because my health was being compromised by all the stresses of working in a very hostile, unfriendly, and unfair office. i could write volumes on this, but won't.
so, i don't feel that i'm trying to live off the government, or become a welfare statistic. i'm going to get a job. i just want it to be what i want and need, not just the first thing that comes along. otherwise, if it's not, i'll just be right back in the fire---angry at myself for getting into a situation that is harmful to my mental and physical health, and also regretting that i've let myself be bullied/sweettalked into something i don't want. i'm actually very proud of myself for making this decision. i've always been the accommodating one, always the one to make nice, to smooth things over, and often, at the expense of my own comfort. so, here i am now....and i hope something comes up....i've submitted so many resumes, i can't believe i won't find something soon.

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why do i do these things to myself???

on August 28, 2007 - 12:35am

i've been out of work for about five weeks....i have been looking hard, honest i have, and been interviewing, but only one thing has been offered to me, and in almost all ways, it's a perfect job, but, but BUT....it is only 20 hours a week, and i need more. the job will not expand at any point, and to be quite honest, i don't even think there is enough to fill 20 hrs a week. my dilemma is, i'm collecting unemployment insurance---i paid into it, i deserve it after working so many years nonstop. if i take this job, i will make less money each week than i do collecting the unemployment.....i'm torn between wanting to be able to pay bills, and wanting to be working. they know i will still be looking for another part-time job, or perhaps one that is more hours...they know i may up and leave....do i go and work til i find something else, or do i step aside so they can hire someone who will not up and quit on them in a month??? i'm not keen on working two jobs...i'm too old for that nonsense. i want just one job. they are very nice people, and i don't want to screw them, or myself....i let myself be pushed into a decision, and now i'm mad at myself for that...i don't like to let people down. i fear i will kick myself for letting this job go, but then i think of the pay, and parttime hours, and i know i'll kick myself for giving up the more money i get for not working....
i'm still interviewing for other jobs, with better hours and pay....should i hold out for one of those? what if one does not materialize? i wish i knew what to do....i do want to work. i feel the need to contribute to the household budget. i get too lazy when i don't work, but i have a holiday seasonal business that i can start up again to keep busy. i'm supposed to start the new job in 8 hours....i know i'll be tossing and turning all night over this...

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