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Mad and I'm Not Sure Why???

on April 19, 2007 - 10:06am

I have been so busy at work and at home, I haven't been able to go on the boards very much in the past several weeks. And when I do....Holy Crap! What in the HECK (keepin' it PG) is going on with everyone?

I could actually copy and past a journal entry I wrote right after the Blender interview, but I won't.


I would hope that all of the good things this site brings will outweigh the bad in the end, and I wish we could get back to those good things. I embarrassed to even think of Josh coming on and reading this crap! The "crap" I am referring to is the bickering. It's just plain stupid!

As Grobanites, we should be so focused on Josh and his music that we shouldn't have the inclination to waste our breathes on anything negative.


deelouw's picture my STOMACH!

on April 3, 2007 - 9:59am

In my last entry, I mention (or do a lot more than mention) a story that I ran across on Fox News yesterday at lunch. It outraged me!

A mere 3 hours later I find out that someone who works for the same company I do - in this very building - just got busted in a sting operation to catch child predators. I've been in the elevator with him before. He's worked here for a number of years. How many others are out there that I work with or interact with? I'm not going to be paranoid for personal safety reasons (quite obvious why), but I am concerned more and more how this country seems to be spiraling out of control. It makes me feel vulnerable and powerless as a mom of a young child. I can't stop my life and chain myself to my son every hour of the day, so how do you 100% guarantee that your son or daughter never has to go through something so horrific? How?

There is a story out of Georgia where a 6 year old boy was kidnapped,raped over and over again and then beat to death by - are you ready - a family of three and one family friend! A mom, dad, their son and the son's friend. A MOM, DAD and their SON! They each took turns with the six year old. How in the hell could parents of a son who was once 6 himself do this?? I guess I would drive myself insane trying to figure these people out. This little boy was only 2 years older than my son!

It may sound like I've gone over the edge and I might have a tiny bit. As my son gets older and I face the fact that he is going to start school soon, I feel less in control. Less of a protector.

Ok..I can't think about this anymore. I must focus on something positive.

Sorry for the negativity. Just needed to get it off my chest.

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on April 2, 2007 - 9:43am

I am lunch right now and I was looking at the Fox News site and they had a video clip of a story about a pedophile who has created a website to help other pedophiles find little kids and how to not get caught! He takes photographs of children in public places and puts them on his site. I am so sick to my stomach right now. AND the worst part....there is nothing law enforcement can do about it. His site is perfectly LEGAL!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?

I understand the right to free speech but how far are we going to allow someone to take it? They even did a short interview with this guy about his site and listening to him talk about how he "just likes to be around little kids" and "little girls are prettier than woman" and little girls "gives him so much joy". IF I COULD HAVE REACHED THROUGH MY COMPUTER SCREEN I WOULD HAVE ATTEMPTED TO KILL THE GUY!

There has to be something we can do as a society to get rid of crap like this. I tried to find the site, but that kind of stuff is blocked here at work. If there was some sort of message board or way to contact him, I want to voice my outrage. I would also like to know what area of the country this guy is in. He posts children's events on the site so other's know where to go. I am so outraged!

If I figure out where this guy is, I will let you know in another entry. I may even start a thread in Community/Other Topics. People need to know about this guy!

Ok...I'm done! I need to listen to some Josh to calm me down.

See Ya!

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on March 28, 2007 - 5:20pm

It appears as though I am going to have to make an appointment with my husband to talk about Cameron's school. We have a decision to make this year and it needs to be sooner than later. He is going into Pre-K and we need to decide if he should stay where he is and go to public school for kindergarten, or try to get him into the two private schools in our area for Pre-K. He is totally zoned out. Has zero interest. It's 9:10. I understand that he is ready to relax, but I have been trying to talk with him about this since 7:30.

OK...I'm frustrated and a little bit freaked out! We HAVE to make a decision on this soon. If we want him to go to a private school, we need to enroll him NOW! We have to talk about it sooner or later. Maybe I need to prep him more. Let him know at the beginning of the week that on, say Thursday, I want to talk seriously about it. I'll give it a shot.

I'm sad. I have a friend who I haven't talked to in a very long time (she introduced me to Josh and is my son's Godmother) and I just reached out for her to say hello. When my husband worked with her husband, we were very close. They are very good people and that is why we chose them to be Cameron's Godparents. It's been about 2 years since my husband has changed jobs and it has been work to stay in touch to say the least.

Her beautiful daughter just had a baby girl (their first grandchild) and I so wish I could share in that joy with my friend. I have made more effort to keep in touch than she has and I'm ok with that I guess. It's just sad. Do I tell her that I'm concerned for Cameron that we haven't kept in touch more. Does she still want to be responsible for Cameron if something were to happen to us?

She has two daughters and not much of a marriage and her daughters have been her life. Her entire LIFE! She doesn't know what it feels like to be selfish with her resources (time and money). They are both out of college, but they are still a huge part of her life. I get it! I really do! She and the girls were solo for a very, very long time. I get it! But she never seemed to have room in her life for anything but her girls. I guess there is no way I can understand that because I don't know what it feels like to see two of the most important people in your life grow up and get lives of their own. I guess I understand it a little, but I'm still perplexed. I'm not a high-maintenence friend. Dinner or lunch every now and then. Someone to talk to every now and then (OK...and someone to talk about JOSH with without feeling silly).

So, I e-mailed her today after not talking to her for at least 6 months. She wants to have lunch to catch up. If we do, I will be totally honest with her about my feelings and particularly about her responsibilities as Cameron's Godmother. Her friendship is important but so is her commitment to Cameron. I still feel like my husband and I made the right decision in who we chose but I want to remind her of the trust we have in them.

My boss was a complete #&^%head today. I don't get it. I think his life is still turned upside down by the mistress (see post from a while ago about the phone message). He is a crab and is always a crab these days. He would try to fake it before, but way.

Ok...gotta go. Hubby is up and ready to go to bed.

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on March 27, 2007 - 5:21am

I had a Josh dream last night! It was awesome and was my first - dare I say it - R-rated dream. Holy Cow! I will not give details because there are kids on the boards. I woke up to give my son his medicine and tried really hard to get back to the dream, but it didn't work. :(

This brings me to a question. I wonder if Josh gets embarrased when he sees some of the conversations on the boards. Even some of the siggys probably make him blush (possibly including mine). Or maybe he doesn't get embarrased and just thinks it's flattering.

Anyhoo...not a lot going on today. Cameron and I are at home again. I want to be sure he gets a full day of his inhaler before taking him back to school. He seems to be back to his normal self which is great!

There was a thread on the boards that talked about a cool contest idea for meeting Josh and I thought it would be really cool to have contest to be in Josh's choir for YRMU. The contestants would send in a 60 second (or whatever) recording of them singing a Josh song and then they could pick 2 dozen or so Grobies to sing with him on stage. How cool. I was also thinking that Weeping would be a good song to have a choir behind. I PM'd Wyatt to see if he could run it up the flagpole. I'll keep you updated on what he says.

Gotta go. Everyone have a fantastic Joshy day!



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