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It was ....

on June 24, 2009 - 11:44am

Ten years ago today … I had a baby boy. My now ex-husband and I had his name picked out for months before he was born … it was the tradition in his family to have the boys have their initials be DAM – I don’t know why but being married to my now ex gave me a good idea. Anyway … baby boy was going to have a good, strong, upstanding Scottish name so he was to be Duncan Alistair. I went into labor the night before but still hadn’t delivered by 7AM. One doctor left and another had just started when he said that he was going to check my cervix and if I hadn’t dilated anymore than previous he was going to send me home. “The hell you are!” I exclaimed being as I lived an hour away from the hospital. During the examination this fair-haired doctor suddenly turned whiter than he already was. I could see him swallow; his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, his eyes opening wide. “What?” I said suddenly breaking out in a sweat. “I’ve got the … cord … in my hand.” Came his response. Then he began calling for the nurse but none came. My ex is a paramedic so he instructed my ex to get something from a drawer then call the nurse. It went pretty fast after that … he told me I had to have emergency surgery and that he was very sorry but he couldn’t remove his hand or there was a good chance the baby would die. As we rode together on the same gurney, him with his hand still in my … for lack of a better word … crotch I said to him; "you probably should have taken me out to dinner first." That got a laugh out of him. When we arrived at the surgery the anesthesiologist apologized as well … “I’m very sorry.” He said. “You won’t be awake to see the baby born. We just don’t have time.” “It’s okay” I said. “I’ll see him later!” Well when I woke there was no baby to be found and I sat up painfully and inquired as to where my baby was. Darrin came to sit by me and said, “I have to tell you something about the baby.” I was instantly flooded with panic and asked what I didn’t want to know the answer to … “No he’s just in the NICU.” Why was he in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit? He was born with these … things … anomalies … lumps … they had no idea what it was and so they put him there to isolate him to find out what was wrong with him. Darrin showed me Polaroids of him and sure enough he was a bit deformed. “I want to see my baby.” I said adamantly and called the nurse. She said they couldn’t bring him to me so I got out of bed and went to him. My precious little Duncan had tubes in his nose and an I.V. in his foot. They wouldn’t let me breastfeed him; they didn’t want to introduce any “foreign” fluids into him before they knew what was wrong … he was examined by every specialty they could find and he’d even had a 2 dimensional echocardiogram to be sure his heart was all right. Yep, he was fine internally it was just externally that he wasn’t. They brought in two genetecists who interviewed both Darrin and I and then after some time they said it was either Proteus Syndrome or Klippel-Trenaunay Weber Syndrome. A dermatologist from Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago was called and after examining Duncan she said “It’s definitely Proteus.” She had treated a Proteus patient in the past and identified it right away. Well we had a name for it at least. After bringing our little man home I did what research I could on Proteus Syndrome even joining the Proteus Foundation – Duncan was in an elite group of maybe 300 Proteus people in the entire world! Then I started to find out things I really didn’t want to know … like his life expectancy … tumors grow all over his body and could grow on and in his internal organs causing death. I shut it down … I never went back to the site and still won’t but I will have him get an MRI every year to make sure nothing is growing inside that shouldn’t be there. I’ll be honest with you – I didn’t think Duncan would make it to see his 10th birthday … I’ve always been protective of him, kept him under my wing and probably always will. So if you’ve ever wanted to know why baby boy means so much to me – well now you do! He’s my little Scottish miracle child and he always will be. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY! And many more ….

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VERY WEARY!

on June 18, 2009 - 6:28pm

Well ... it's almost complete. There is still some crap at the old house we have to collect but all in all we're moved. This house is so full of crap now that we can hardly move. It's amazing that there was so much stuff at the old place. Very weird. Well I guess when you have that many adults in one house you will have CRAP. We have phone, Internet, and cable here at the new house now but my computer isn't set up and now that the computers aren't all in one room anymore I have to get a wireless card or something like that for my computer so I can get online. I'm on Kyler's computer ATM. I'm tired, I feel like I've been beat up but over all I've survived and so has everyone else. My fingernails are growing so long I can't type right LOL! I painted them this bronze color and they look nice :D. So those of you who are the HB ... please have a wonderful time and I look forward to some new pics of HRH ... Love to everyone!

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WEARY

on June 11, 2009 - 5:36am

But a good weary. Margaret Rose is feeling better and I'm enjoying her sense of humor once more ... she said I need to be careful not to lose anyone in the move and that we should all have "moving buddies" so no one gets left behind hahahahaha! I told her I was going to move the cats this time like I did last time, box them up in pairs ... really it works very well ... you just have to be careful not to put one with claws in with one who doesn't!! That's not a feng shui grouping if you know what I mean. So we're excited to move ... I came home from work last night and found boxes of JUNK everywhere. Do we really need all this ... STUFF? I guess we do or it would be in the garbage then. I have to work 11 hours today then I'm off tomorrow and will probably work another 11 - and harder. YIKES ... speaking of which ... don't you just love it when Josh works hard ... heh heh ...

Okay I'm off to take a cold shower before work and then ... I'll be gone for a while so keep the candles burning!

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THANKS TO YOUUUUUUU!

on June 10, 2009 - 5:22am

We got the house! This one is (yet again) perfect for our family! The thing that makes it so valuable is the fact that it has a fully fenced in backyard so the girls can play without fear that they will run into the street! The landlord is nice and he said we could paint, hang pics, whatever ... There is a huge basement - finished and four bedrooms. I'm excited. I can't wait to move. We're going to move this weekend so we can spend next week cleaning here and getting things back into shape for our old landlord. She's had a rough go of it lately and we want her to be welcomed back to her home. Thank you everyone for your support and your willing ear while I whined, pissed, and moaned about not having a place. For those of you who listened I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You rock!

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stop the world - I wanna get off!!!!

on June 7, 2009 - 6:23am

Oh good grief ... so the landlord of the other place stalled until he got a better offer on the house and then took that one. So we're back to square one. I sat and sobbed Friday until I was sleepy then I went to sleep until Saturday. Saturday we went to see another house which is $95 a month more than we wanted to spend BUT ... it's (once again) perfect - and it's got a completely fenced in yard AND 4 bedrooms upstairs and a finished basement ... not to mention it's in Minooka which makes baby boy happy because he can go back to Minooka schools and it'll shut the ex up - sure I'd rather shut him up with a rap in the snotlocker but I'll settle for this. Speaking of ex - I dreamt that I left Kyler and went back to him and he turned into a Bible thumper - 100% and there were religious people coming and going in the house constantly and I was sick - I had a fever, nausea, abdominal pains ... very weird dream. I didn't love him either in the dream but Duncan was happy we were back together. It was quite strange. I had loads of trouble falling to sleep as well as staying asleep last night - it wasn't until Caryn got Emma around 4ish when I slept better I think ... but then Snowy was making biscuits on my chest and drooling all over me ... silly kitty. Well it's 8AMish and I've already got my nails painted and I'm ready to start the day ... let's get it over with.

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