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The things I get myself into...

on February 24, 2008 - 11:50am

Well, what an eventful weekend! I had nothing much planned for this weekend except to spend time with my girls. Although my oldest and I had to help sell cookies at a Girl Scout booth yesterday, we were going to make some time for the two of us by ourselves afterward. At least we THOUGHT we would. However, to make a really long, exhausting story short, we witnessed a man (who later claimed to be a preacher!) harassing and bullying a lady in the parking lot. Apparently he felt she had cut him off in traffic and caused him to spill his food/drink all he felt compelled to follow her, park behind her to block her in, and proceeded to "speak" to her out of his window. Then, although she apologized for him spilling his food (even if she didn't need to--though it didnt' matter to me what happened on the road--I didn't see it--I just hated how he was acting toward her!), he proceeded to call the police. I'm leaving a lot out here, but in the end, my daughter and I (witnesses) ended up at the police station with the lady (who was scared out of her mind, because the crazed lunatick had followed her again after the police left!). Again, I'm leaving a lot out--they worked it all out in the presence of 2 police officers. My daughter and I went back to Walmart to check back in with the other Girl Scouts, etc. As we were walking through the store from finishing talking to one of the ladies who had been helping at the cookie booth, the man approached us! I tried to walk away, and made it a few departments over...he caught up with us there, and proceeded to want to tell me his side of the story. After I made my point about his inappropriate conduct, along with several other things I felt needed to be said (BOY DID I EVER FIND MY WORDS THEN! I WAS PROUD OF MYSELF!) I informed him I had wasted plenty of time on him already and that our conversation was finished. So...if he hunts me down...well, he might be big and mean, but he's a coward. I am not afraid of him. Somehow I think he got that point! As for the lady, she was, as her sister told me later, "thankful for my kindness and my true Christian attitude"...I didn't put that here to brag; only to reinforce in my own mind that what I did was right and good. I don't like confrontation. And it is most definitely exhausting. But what if I were in that lady's place? Would anyone have stood with me? What if it were my grandmother? I would have wanted someone to stand beside her!

Oh well. That was all the excitement in this sleepy little town for me this weekend. Good thing, though, 'cause I'm gettin' a little long again with the post! Hope everyone has a great day!

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on February 16, 2008 - 10:03pm

Just in to say hi. Had to see if I could keep a post under 500 words! LOL

It's been a pretty good day...I've made a lot more progress toward reorganizing/sorting through all the junk piles in my house. (The house wasn't terrible, but there have been these piles of papers, cds, books, and all sorts of "keepsake" stuff seemingly in every corner. Anyway, I've almost gotten everything in it's own home or ready for a yard feels so good! I can feel myself getting calmer every day! I love it!

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Guess what I found yesterday!?

on February 15, 2008 - 10:15am

I'm so thankful for the short stories on FOJG and in my local newspaper that I've read lately. I don't know how it worked, but reading them, along with surviving some personal challenges, it did!

After several years of not knowing specifically what happened to them, I FINALLY FOUND MY WORDS AGAIN!!! I know. Sounds like I'm losin' it again. But really, I am so happy! When I was younger, I could write almost anything--like magic, I'd start writing and it would just flow onto the page. I was able to be vivid, expressive and communicative of just about every thought I wanted to convey. Then it just stopped. I don't know exactly when, but I think it was a process I didn't realize was happening. I think it started in college when, after I had turned in a self-descriptive paper, my instructor wrote on the paper that it sounded like I had a hidden agenda! I was furious. How dare she question ME! I had poured my heart into that paper, and to this day I still don't know what in the world she meant! Then about a year after I was married, I had a very serious car accident. In all of the wreckage, my father-in-law stumbled across some letters that spilled out of my purse...they were from someone I had only considered a friend; naiive, is more what I'd call it now, but I didn't even realize what those letters really said back then. But because I was questioned--again, my character, just like with that college professor--I believe that at that point is when "my words" were hanging by a thread. About 3-4 years later, Craig and I went through the toughest time in our marriage. Not spilling out all of the details here, I believe that "my words"--what I felt were my best and most effective form of communication--were gone. I've been afraid to write anything at all, for fear that I would be "found out". That possibly that "hidden agenda" would come into view. Or worse yet, my "true character"! Every time I would post on the boards here, I'd feel as though I were either being put under a microscope or just brushed aside. Any time I'd write to a distant friend or family member, I was afraid I was misrepresenting myself completely; fearful the relationship would be irrepairable forever. I mean, who wants to be taken the wrong way? Someone like me, who strives to be "what you see is what you get" in my life; who tries not to put up a different facade in every different situation cannot take that sort of pressure. Although by allowing others to control me (in a sense) in that way caused me to keep everything to myself and made me feel like I was wrong for feeling...well...anything at all! "My words" were me; I was "my words". It probably sounds corny to some, but I know others will know exactly what I mean. In my family growing up, it was sometimes hard to be heard--at least hard to say a complete sentence without being cut off or interrupted. I blame it on simply bad habits...but it seems we all do it! Fearful you won't be heard, or afraid you won't get to complete your thought... You don't have to worry about that when you write. You get to finish your sentence. You get to write out your entire thought. Yeah, sure, someone could just stop reading or wad the letter up and throw it away. But at least you got it "out there"! I've always been fearful of writing in a journal (online or otherwise) for fear of my real thoughts being found out. What do you do if you vent anger toward a friend or family member in a journal just to get it off your chest and then someone finds it? Or a personal thought, that while maybe just harmless 'thinking out loud'--if someone finds it, what then? Will it result in excommunication from family and friends? Riots? World War III? Okay, it's a bit much...but really...even though I try to live life "in the open", some things are still private. If I write those things down, how do I ensure they're kept private? Some of these things I still ask. HOWEVER, I feel rejuvenated that I can feel expressive again. That I can get my true thoughts "out there" just in the event I might possibly want to be heard!

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Either It's a slow day...

on February 11, 2008 - 11:37am

...or I'm a thread killer. I posted for the first time a little bit ago, and there were several people on it at the time. No one has made any other comments since. Just an observation. Oh well. That's why I post here instead. I don't expect anyone to comment, but then when they do by chance, it's like a treat!

More importantly, Josh and Andrea Bocelli did a wonderful job last night...Daughtry's on Ellen right now (I was looking for a clip of Josh--I don't normally watch tv during the day much...)...ummmm....what else??? Oh. Yeah. I'm up to a weight loss of a total of 16 pounds now. Feeling good about it, but still have about 30-35 more to go, so still working hard, eating right, etc...Let's see....what else...I got nuthin'! hahaha I did just get done workin' out, so me thinks me needs a shower! LOL Guess I'll check in later...hope everyone has a great day!

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More of my rambling...

on January 20, 2008 - 11:12am

It's amazing. It seems like everytime I log on to write in my journal, I'm listening to "nothing". I'm thinkin' I need to begin turning on the Josh Radio immediately when I log onto FoJG!

I'm still losing weight/aka FAT! This week has been a slow lose, but 2 more pounds isn't bad! For a total of 12! See, if I keep reporting it, I'll stay accountable, which ensures my mindset to keep going...then, as I reach my goal, I might just have to post before and after pics! The people I met in Atlanta wouldn't know me already 'cause I've cut my hair considerably shorter; I'll look like a totally different person by the time I lose this other 38 pounds! My personal reward for keeping on track this next week is to go to the movies--wonderin' if hubby will be on this particular "date" with me--I'm goin' anyway! LOL I haven't been to the movies since Pirates/World's End was showing in the summer! Well, unless you count seeing 'Enchanted' with a big group of my family...but still...that was a while ago!

I've been exploring the possibilities this past week of opening a store here in my's really hard to tell what anything would do here...but now it's also looking like my mom may move her store here, and have me manage it for her. As long as I can continue to sew for people--and $$--and especially take care of my kids, I think it would be great. The building we're looking at has plenty of room at the back to create a "living room" so that when the kids are with me, they'll have their own space and I'll be able to be with them.

Well, the house has refused once again to clean itself, so, that means I need to go get busy! Hope everyone has a great week!



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