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so tired...........

on June 17, 2007 - 6:03pm

I'm sitting here typing and trying not to cry. I'm so frustrated with the way things are going right now in my life. I thought that surely after three surgeries to try to correct a detached retina everything would be ok. Unfortunately, they are far from being ok. I was looking forward to going back to work, since I've been unemployed due to the eye stuff, but now it seems like I may have to undergo a fourth surgery. I don't want any more surgeries and I'm ready to move on with my life, but my parents insist that I have another. I don't have any money to pay for the previous surgeries since I don't have insurance. So where in the world am I going to get the money for the fourth? My psycho parents treat me like an invalid and think that this is happening to me b/c I don't go to church. They won't let me move on. I'm tired of dealing with this and just want it to be over with, why is that so hard for them to comprehend? It's my life and I'm an adult just let me be. I'm grateful for the help that they've given me so far (when they haven't been paranoid, delusional, and otherwise insane). But it's time they start listening to what I want and need, instead of them making decision based on what they think I need.
I know there are people in this world in worse conditions then mine and I should be grateful for what I've got. But sometimes its so hard when it seems like everything in your life is going wrong and you've got no support from anyone. I just have to be patient and hope things get better.

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on May 9, 2007 - 8:58am

ok, so the pre-sale left me a little disappointed, after almost two hours of trying to get decent seats i've given up. I settled for FLR2 row P seats 5 & 6 for the Charlotte, nc show. Hopefully, I'll get to actually go to this show since I missed the concert in raleigh....just have to wait til the 18th of july.

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on April 25, 2007 - 7:55pm

Ok, so today I want to the retina specialist in hopes of good news. I didn't get good news but I didn't get bad news either. Sigh. The doc is worried that my retina may be detaching again for the third time in two months, but due to the gas bubble that is in my eye its hard for him to get a good view, even after doing an ultrasound. So he said that I should be careful and come back in a week to see if my retina is still attached or not. Here's to hoping for good news next week. :

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on April 17, 2007 - 9:01pm

The recent mass killings at VA Tech is definetely a tragic incident. For years to come many will remember the horrible event that occurred on april 16th 2007. While many mourn for those who died, I can't help but feel sorry for the shooter, cho seung-hu, who was in many ways the worst victim of this incident. He must of felt so angry, hurt, and alone in the world. Not very many people made an effort to get to know him. However, if people had truly made an effort to understand and help him this event could have maybe been avoided.
Now I know that most people will say that his anguish and pain don't justify such brutal action and surely they don't. However, I feel that this is a wake up call to american college students and the population at large (since Columbine obviously wasn't enough) to start being kinder to others and stop being so damn superficial....but then again because we have yet to learn from past mistakes it seems that all we'll get out of this is more hatred and fear. It's sad to think that history just keeps repeating itself.

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on April 13, 2007 - 11:00pm

Someone once said it takes a lifetime to find friendship that lasts a lifetime....
I'm finding that to be true...
I definetely need new friends....people who are geniune and not so self aborbed and will keep promises and are willing to laugh at their own mistakes. People who are kind, like good music and who are smart, intelligent and able to carry on a good conversation...and most importantly people who are not superficial and mean.

After school its really hard to find friends because you're not in an area filled with so many people that you have to interact with on a daily basis. So to look for people with similar interests you kind of have to go out of your way to join a club or something of the like.

...I don't know maybe I'm just tired of being surrounded by negative people, or maybe I'm a negative person, although I don't think that I am.

Anyways...I'm hoping to start some volunteer work,which I'm very excited about, in the near future so maybe I'll get a chance to meet new and interesting people. Who knows maybe I'll meet a new friend.



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