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can't sleep

on May 17, 2008 - 1:05am

It is 20 to 2 in the am and I can't fall asleep.I think it has to do with the fact that I am sitting in my office and out the south west window I am looking at a full moon.It is also hot in my house as it was 27 degrees celcius [84 degrees F] today and will get hotter tomorrow.It's only May and we are getting July weather for the next few days and then rain is in the forecast for the week following.Welcome to Alberta, "if you don't like the weather wait 10 minutes",is what is always said here.
It is so quiet in my house [josh is playing low]that I can hear everyone sleeping,my hubby is snoring,the cat is sighing,and the tortoise is wheezing[i think it's a tortoise snore] and my daughter and her boyfriend have the TV on low downstairs but I am sure they are sleeping.I should say good night as I am just babbling to kill time and hopefully feel sleepy.

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Need sleep

on May 15, 2008 - 12:51pm

I had another terrible night trying to get to sleep and I had to work this morning as well.I am still having nights when I feel like there is a pillow over my face and I struggle to breath,it wakes me up and then I am too uneasy to fall asleep.At,least the bad nights are getting less often as in the beginning it was every night.The herbal treatment for anxiety is working but it takes time.It seems worse when I do have the attacks because I am getting used to not having them.I can't believe I am having so much trouble putting this behind me,my father would be so sad if he knew that his death had hit me this way.I just miss him sooooo much and beautiful days like today were such a pleasure for him.He loved being on this planet so much.I just want to think about him without crying because I don't want to keep his memory buried inside anymore.I can honestly say I have a broken heart.
Thank-you for the ear as I just had to talk about him today.

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CNN interview

on May 14, 2008 - 4:25pm

Josh is ADORABLE!!! What a fun and exciting man.He is just lovely and wasn't that a nice interview with him on CNN?I'm so glad that he doesn't go the same route as everyone else to be famous.It goes to show you that decent people still exist and deserve recognition as well.I love the fact that we love Josh for his talent and his humanity rather than poor behavior to be famous.What a wonderful change to celebrate a decent,talented human being.Don't ever let them sway you to the "dark side" Josh as we adore you for who you are---You were meant to be exactly JOSH!!!

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Not pleased

on May 12, 2008 - 11:28pm

I am completely disappointed with the agency that is providing care for my autistic brother.It took 4 years of hard work and promises to bring him here.We asked for special funding and applied to bring him over provincial lines to give him a program he deserved.Many meetings took place for the government to approve my brothers program and I feel the agency isn't meeting the standards that were set out for him.I have set up a meeting with the CEO of the agency to find out why my brothers program is not advancing and why he seems to be regressing in behavior.They have the funding and I want to make sure they are not abusing it and applying it where it belongs.It will be a lengthly meeting on behalf of my brother as I am very pro-active in his care and education.The agency knows that they will have to meet expectations or they will have a battle on their hands for proper treatment of my brother.I also have to challenge his physician as he has been neglectful in my brother's care.No physical,no blood work and no chest x-rays [my brother has a persistent cough] since he had been under this physician's care,and now that I have legal guardianship that is about to change.I fully intent to be my brother's champion.I promised my mother and father that I would be his voice and I will fulfill that promise.I think it is horrible that his care has not been up to standard.It will be now!!

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quiet evening

on May 11, 2008 - 10:44am

I had a most unexpected evening to myself last night and spent it watching Josh again.I swear the DVD gets better the second time you see it.I can't wait to see Josh again and I hope to meet him this time as I didn't have that opportunity the last time.They drew numbers for the meet and greet and I was close but not lucky enough to win the big prize.I did however,win a life sized,hand signed,poster of Josh standing on a fire escape in New York.He looks so young and innocent in it,which I am sure he is not.Josh presents himself as full of mischief and fun,and knows how to enjoy himself.
My poor husband was called back into work last night,almost as soon as he got home,and had to stay very late.He is an operator in the water treatment plant out at the army base just outside of the city[it is both a Canadian and British forces base].My hubby is also the head of environmental services at the base and last night during a war exercise a tank and trailer flipped and spilled fuel into the ground and a still water pond.It took them about 6 hours to clean it up and dispose of it safely.My poor husband didn't get in until after midnight.He is still in bed today as he finally has a day off,he's awake but just being lazy,that's fair.
I want to wish all the mothers a Happy Mother's Day and I hope you enjoy what ever plans you have made.My husband and I are going walking and then I am making supper for my family and my brother[he is autistic]as he loves to come and spend time with us and watch hockey.I love to have my family with me today as it makes me feel safe and loved.I know we will have a great evening.

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