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EggyPa14's blog

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YAY Tickets

on March 2, 2011 - 3:02pm

Super excited that i got my tickets... was wondering if anyone can tell me how ppl are RSVPing under the tour page. I wanna rsvp lol !!!!!!

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Good Bye

on April 2, 2009 - 8:23pm

Today we buried my mom. It has to be the hardest day of my life so far. I can't sleep cuz i have to many emotions running through me. I'm mad, sad, angry, and relieved that she's out of pain all in one. I hate it soo much. I don't know what to do with my self. Do I scream, laugh, I can't cry anymore it just doesn't happen. I wanna cry but I can't. The worst part of it all is that I forget she's gone, like tonight I was watching the last ER show and half way through it I picked up my phone to call my mom and see what she thought of it. and then i had to remember that she isn't here anymore and it killed me all over again. I must have done that like 20 times today. I've been at my aunts house all day and we were surrounded by my mom's entire family. but as things were happening I wanted to run and tell her things and every time it hurt a little more. I have no idea how anyone gets over this pain. A little piece of me is gone now and I lost my best friend to talk to. I just really don't know what to do. The pain is just so horrible. I always thought that what we went through before was bad but this just is sooo horrible. I have no other word for it. I absolutely hate it.

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My Mom

on March 31, 2009 - 2:14pm

I am soooo sad. My mom died on Monday morning at 1:30am. I had just gone in her room to give her, her pills and tell her that I found a hotel for Vegas for only $350. And she just smiled and cuz my dad was sleeping next to her we didn’t talk, we just said good night and I went to my room. Not even 5 mins later my dad screamed my name and I ran into the room. We tried to do CPR but nothing worked. She was pronounced dead at the hospital. So now it’s just me and my dad and my 2 brothers. and I have no idea how the hell I’m gonna get through this. She was my best friend. We shared everything and I wasn’t afraid to tell her anything. I am gonna miss her like crazy. I love you Mom RIP

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:|

on March 19, 2009 - 9:43pm

So its been a very stressful March. My mom came home for about 2 weeks in February and then went back into the hospital March 1st. she had to go back because she still can’t eat since her surgery in January. They have been running test like crazy trying to figure out why she can’t digest food properly.

So since she’s been in there I’ve again become the taxi driver of the family. My brother whose gonna be 19 in a few weeks can’t get his licenses because my dad won’t let him drive the car in fear of him crashing it. So that leaves me. And my littlest brother who is home schooled has all these standardized test to take this week. So I had to take off from work to be able to take him. Which is ok by me but when I told my boss she like flipped out saying that I’m the only one who can decorate because the other 2 ladies are out injured. So I told her to take me out of the bakery dept and put me as a cashier. She got even madder and told me to have my dad take off. Which is insane, his job pays for the bills food and everything where as my job is money so I can have luxury. So now on top of the stress at home and worries, it is extremely tense in work. They still have me in the bakery only because they don’t have any one else. But I’ve decided as of yesterday I want out. I don’t need or want this aggravation. But my I haven’t told my boss yet, just everyone else so now I’m worried about bringing it up to her. Then today I had the worst migrane ever and it made me so sick. I had to leave work early. I think it was from all the worrying about everything.

And through all this I’ve seemed to have lost my best friends. I guess they got tired of me either bitching or not being able to hangout. I just feel like they think I’m making all this up. I really hope that this will be the last time my mom is in the hospital. Or maybe I haven’t lost them maybe I just found who my true friends are. I just realized that the friends who I don’t talk to everyday are there for me right now but my friend from when I was a baby doesn’t wanna hangout any more. It just makes me feel so depressed and frustrated.

Out of all this there is one good thing, since my nerves are so bad I’m not really eating so I’ve lost 13lbs.  I know it’s not a good way to loose it but hey I’ll take it. I guess the biggest thing I’ve come to realize is that I need to do more of what I want. And less of what people want me to do. Don’t get me wrong I have a good life some times it just seems like a really big tunnel with no light at the end of it.

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It Gonna Be a Beautiful Day!!!!

on February 11, 2009 - 5:50am

So my mom is back home again now. Yay!
Today is suppose to be in the mid 60's and sunny well at least until it starts to rain lol. So I’m gonna go out and take a nice walk with my littlest brother.
Still on the search for a job. Need another one so I can go to Vegas. On Saturday it will be 6 months till my birthday!!!!!! Or 6 months till Vegas, So excited.
Other than that my life has been boring, which I can’t complain about. I kinda like it that way.
ttfn

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