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My Brother

on March 19, 2009 - 1:28pm

Remember when you were a kid and you and your sibling(s) fought constantly and could hardly stand to be around each other? Remember how you used to have fun making up random games when you were bored, or playing sports in the yard during summer vacation? There's that period of time where you realize you don't hate each other as much as you thought to when you all start to have bigger social lives outside of the house, where you actually enjoy each other's company. I remember that time and miss it.

I'm the oldest child. I have a wonderful younger brother who is so intelligent and kind and amazingly confident. Iknow he's going to do some great things in his life. His personality is so likable, and he's always doing his best, he always puts the most effort he cane into anything he does and I am so proud of him.

I have to tell you about this funny thing that happened.

One of his best friends talked him into trying out for the spring musical with her. Oddly enough Jodi didn't get a part in the play but my brother did, a part that required him not only to sing, but to sing an entire song solo.

Now, this came as a huge surprise to me and my family because we have never heard him sing before (except as a joke while doing karaoke). My mother who wouldn't be caught dead singing in front of an audience told him immediately "You can get out of it John, I'm sure you can." However my brother being the daring, brave soul that he is decided to take on this daunting task. To him, I'm sure it was nothing. I know he put in a lot of hours after school practicing, helping paint the set, making sure makeup and costume were all as they should be, and after months of preperation the show was on.

Opening night I sat with my parents and various members of my extended family to support my brother and the entire cast and crew. I think we were all nervous for him, I certainly was, but when he began to sing I started to relax. I don't know if it was the key he was singing in or what, but his voice came out so strong and relaxed, confident as ever. He had to hold some extended notes and his voice never quavered like you sometimes hear when people have bad breath support. I was shocked. My brother can sing, and he can sing well. Why was he not in choir all these years?! He did an amazing job, and I think (although I am biased) his song was one of the best parts to the show. I hope he continues to sing, and I can't wait to see the final performance this weekend.

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Lazy Saturday

on February 28, 2009 - 11:59pm

Finding Neverland was just on Oxygen tonight, twice. I love that movie and most especially the music--yay.

What a day I had today! Well, last night I had a very interrupted sleep, didn't fall asleep until after midnight, then woke up at 4am, and then got up at 8am. Actually "got up" is't accurate. Basically I was only out of my bed for a few hours this morning. I made a couple of phone calls and then retreated back to my hiding place and that's where I stayed all day, in my pajamas. Were it not for hunger I don't think I would have gotten out of bed at all.

I watched two dvds, slept, and chatted to people. I don't remember the last time I was in bed all day.

Of course I may be spending more time there in the future because I can tell I'm coming down with some kind of sickness...that's what I get for always being sleep deprived.

Oh well tomorrow is church and family time. Monday I take my car in to finally get the rotors filed down or whatever it is they're going to do in order to fix the problem of my car shaking every time I apply the breaks!

Happy Sunday to everyone :)

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on February 25, 2009 - 11:10pm

Another day where I took care of the boys. Things went pretty well, although I still feel really frustrated about the way the boys have been acting. I just feel like they're all in this bad stage where they're being so rude and bratty. Then they're fighting physically a lot. But they're boys and they've always been physical, the difference now is that they act out when they get angry at each other. For instance Ryan got mad at Connor this evening and he started hitting him on the head repeatedly, and I sent him straight to time out. I told him that was completely unacceptable. I know he knows that, but it's a little unnerving at times to see this little boy who you know is so sweet get to out of control. He felt bad for doing it, I know, but I worry that if he's at school one day and he gets angry what's to stop him from doing that to some kid out at recess?

Obviously, most children are different at home with their siblings than when they're at school. Hopefully Ryan can maintain that distinction. Still he shouldn't be doing it at home either, but the worst part is I feel like his parents haven't done much to reprimand him for it, or worse still maybe he only acts like that around me!?

There are other parts to the matter. I've felt for some time now that Ryan who is the oldest is spoiled compared with his brothers. There are things that should be special privelages for him since he is the oldest child, but I feel like it's been taken too far.

The other day there was a situation where he was trying to use his age as a point of him getting his way, and at least for the situation it was absolutely ridiculous.

Some day soon I hope I'll look at this and laugh. Most days I start out thinking I've overreacted about all of the bad things, that maybe they're not so bad. Usually by the end of the day I've lost my patience over all of the times they've hit each other or done something just to annoy one of their brothers, or all the times they do NOT listen to me. I'm so fed up with all of it.

When the boys were younger I felt like Ryan and I had a special bond, a really sweet relationship. The twins would nap and he and I would get some good quality time together playing games. The twins don't really nap now and Ryan is in school all day. He's also catching up to me in height, so the wrestling games we used to play or me giving him a piggyback are becoming increasingly difficult without me being injured. Last week I got a bloody nose from one of the boys.

Basically, I feel like I'm either telling them "no" or putting them in time-out or reprimadning them for something. So much of the happiness is gone from my soul.

Oh, the whole reason I titled this one "Awake" was because I've been thinking about that song and wanting to hear it (I know shocker, I don't actually own the cd!?!?) because I've been trying to think positive thoughts and look at the situation with some appreciation for the time I have with the boys. I'm always going on and on about how fast time goes by and how it's so hard to believe that they're growing up so fast. I want to be more awake.

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Foggy Day

on February 18, 2009 - 11:52am

My brother is making pancakes. He does that sometimes. Or no, it's waffles. Strawberry....YUM!

I just had to rinse the dogs paws off because he went running around outside and got all muddy. He knows what bath means, and he HATES it, so we have to spell it out. "Wanna have a b-a-t-h Rudy?!"
Right now I feel really tired. Just groggy and not at all awake. I'm supposed to work today. I think everyone is just stressed out and tired. Yesterday Jeff's mom watched the kids. Jeff is the father of the boys that I nanny for, and his mother is your typical grandma...she spoils the boys, gives them just about anything they want, and they are allowed to run wild. I woke up yesterday and Ryan was eating prmesean cheese for breakfast and Sean was demanding a different kind of eggs in such a rude voice I actually left my room and told him he needed to speak politely. Then grandma admitted that she was fully aware she was being taken advantage of. After breakfast they were jumping on the furniture and jumping on grandma, and I was off yesterday so I let grandma handle it, tough I did leave her instructions on how to use the On Demand since I knew she would be needing it later. Right before I left Connor got a bloody lip. So, I can understand why Jeff and Jen seemed a little tired and irritated when I talked to them this morning. It's hard enough being a firefighter and working 24 hour shifts, but to come home to a crazy house where your kids are all hopped up on sugar and probably low on sleep is enough to put anyone in a bad mood. I think I'll give them a break today, maybe take the boys to the park in the afternoon.

My new cell phone came yesterday. It's a free upgrade and I haven't had a new phone in 4 years, so I was overdue. I realize how much I like my old phone and as stupid as this sounds I'm going to be a little sad to see it go. This new phone I have is a touch screen and I know has way more features than I'll ever use. My old phone didn't even have a camera. I really only use basic things like voice dials, text messaging, and now that I have a camera I suppose I'll be taking pictures. I don't need to check email or use the internet from my phone. I really like the full keyboard. It'll make texting much easier.

On Monday my brother turned 20, and he and I and my parents went to see Gran Torino. It's Clint Eastwood! I would definitely see it again. It was sweet, and funny, and heartbreaking. When I was younger we had hmong neighbors and they were just like the family that lived next door to Walt in the movie. So, it reminded me of them at times.

I need to finish switching over all of my contacts to my new phone. So begins the very tedious process.

All is well.

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The Chat

on January 29, 2009 - 11:51pm

This is so exciting!!! I'm excited for the chat tomorrow. I haven't been on here very regularly the last couple of weeks and I wouldn't have been too disappointed had I missed the chat, but now that I know I haven't missed it I must say I can't wait!!! I'm pretty sure I'll be here, I'm not exactly sure what time I start work. I don't have any major questions I'd want to ask. I think it's cool that right now there's a chat room and all of these grobies are in there chatting away. I still think we need a regular chat on FOJG. I hope all the important questions get answered tomorrow :) Take care everyone.



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