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Yes, heavens-above, I'm ready for my medal now.

on August 18, 2010 - 6:57am

Thus far, I have managed to stave off the deep-seated desire to sink into an alcohol induced coma. It's quite miraculous, really. In fact,the mere ability to refrain from any chemical remedy with this level of anxiety...well, I'm not saying I should be nominated for saint-hood. But, I should be. Martyrdom? Congressional medal of endurance? Single-momdom trophy for not collapsing in a heap?

I've been on a ridiculous run of what I will call "bad luck", but only because I don't know what else to call it. See, i don't really believe in luck. But, if there were such a thing as bad luck, I'm sure this string of unrelated stress-inducing events would be a textbook definition.

I'm quite sure that this little test of my wherewithal has a point, a purpose, a meaning that I will be able to discern when there is some distance. I've yet to discover that meaning, and thus I raise my fist to the sky and shake it. I shout to nobody in particular, "Are you kidding me?" I roll my eyes and murmur, "Well of COURSE the mechanic forgot to put the oil back in the car after they drained it."

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Thought for the day

on August 5, 2010 - 6:58am

Watching vintage "Grey's Anatomy" and stumbled across this gem.

"Did you know that carrying a boy in your uterus means you burn 10% more calories than if you had a girl? Guess what I'm carrying?.....Men, from the very beginning, they just suck the life right out of ya."

- Dr. Miranda Bailey, Grey's Anatomy

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Infatuation

on July 25, 2010 - 11:52am

"Infatuation is not quite the same thing as love; it's more like love's shady second cousin who's always borrowing money and can't hold down a job." - E. Gilbert

Ms. Gilbert has a point. Love gets a lot of the credit that actually belongs to infatuation....the angsty, dramatic obsessive feeling akin to heroine addiction (so I'm told.)

But Infatuation isn't all evil. In fact, infatuation is the dare that takes us to places we'd never go if we were actually in our right mind. We have thrilling experiences, like skydiving and bungee jumping and roller coasters that make us nauseous. But for all those queasy adventures, when it's over we reminisce nostalgically. Many is the memory of daringly diving into that pool without checking to see if there is water because that 'shady second cousin' taunted us mercilessly. What a thrill, what a rush, what an exciting time it was.

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No accounting for Style

on July 22, 2010 - 12:26pm

A colleague and I are just NOT going to see eye-to-eye on a particular issue. Today, I finally figured out why.

I'm a low-key person. I believe when you fly below radar you get a lot more done....it's more effective when nobody's bothering you or has levels of expectation or is waiting for you to fail. Of course there is a cost of no fanfare and little recognition when you play the game the way I do. Since recognition doesn't mean all that much to me, I'm good with that. I just want to get the work done and make a difference.

My colleague is a believer in 'if it doesn't happen in broad daylight in front of a 100 witnesses, than it didn't happen at all.'
Which, in our line of work, is silly. You can make a significant impact without having to bandy the effort about in neon lights.
However, I considered the following: this colleague would prefer that those witnesses be high ranking in the food-chain.

So, this high-profile thing isn't about just getting a job done and making a difference. It's about making sure people, especially important people, know your name.
That's the style he prefers.

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Status: finding me, half-way there

on July 17, 2010 - 8:51pm

The world is noisy.
Traffic and sirens and low-flying jets and uninvited bass-thumping and demanding voices and phones ringing and uncooperative appliances.

I have been in the thick of this kind of noise....the kind that consumes your mind and heart to the point of no longer hearing your own voice. I needed to hear that....to find my pulse among the erratic rhythms of a ceaseless pace.

So, I planned a respite.....a week wherein the only agenda includes visiting family members, communing with hummingbirds, and getting caught up on reading.

The trip did not begin well.....a 2:30 AM phone call forewarned me of canceled flights. The airline had graciously rescheduled us. However, I was bringing my son on the journey and they had plans to send him through Memphis while I was to go through Atlanta. Once I had that issue resolved, I journeyed to my car for the 5 AM airport commute, only to find a flat tire. The rest of the day reads like a Murphy's Law lesson on all things that can go wrong and/or be an inconvenience. By the end of the day, I was ecstatic to be at my destination, although that thrill was thoroughly tempered by exhaustion.

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