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my friend is a bigot.

lindyjean's picture
on May 12, 2011 - 12:01am

i have a dear friend who is very conservative, and i'm more liberal. she is christian, i am kind of agnostic. we don't usually discuss religion or politics as neither of us are going to change the other, nor do we wish to create conflict. sometimes she sends me emails---in a blast out to all of her contacts (who have the same leanings)----and usually i just delete them. the "jokes" are often racist, and lately, most are anti-anybody-who-isn't-Christian-and-American.

this evening i got one that i just cannot ignore. it's anti-Muslim, wishing them all death and praising those who do the killing. i found it abhorrant, and sent her a terse email simply saying, "that's disgusting". i want to say so much more, and composed another direct email to her telling her i do not find such humor acceptable, and that it was very offensive. i have set it aside and will sleep on it before sending it (if i do).

i have asked her several times not to send me these racist, bigoted "jokes", but she says she just hits "Reply All" and doesn't think about it. i give her the benefit of the doubt because she is really a very sweet person (who just happens to think white, evangelical christian people are better than anyone else), and i know her memory is about as faulty as my own, and she probably really doesn't remember to single me out before sending this kind of crap.

should i just drop it in order to keep the peace? part of me knows it's not worth it because she is such a dear friend, and not worth losing the friendship over. on the other hand, her attitude is making me want to have less and less to do with her because it's so vile and i know she really feels this way about certain groups of people. i've tried to be the example for her of someone who thinks differently and is not the devil incarnate, but i am swimming against the tide here. she is surrounded by like-minded others who reinforce her views, and i know i'm losing this battle. it breaks my heart. we live a few hours apart, so we don't see each other as often as i'd like. i'm not "there" to influence her on a daily basis like her other friends who share her views.

i just don't know what to do about this.

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