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twlpdl's picture
on January 11, 2012 - 3:06pm

Here I sit yet again at my best friend puter. Josh is keeping me company as always. Stood my ground yet again at work, didn't get fired. Twas scared, I was. But no, I actually only work one shift now, keep fulltime hours, AND every other weekend off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was amazed. When my boss called me at home and said she had to talk to me I thought sure I was a goner. When I told my family, you would have thought that they would have been happy. I was always getting bitched at because of my hours and how I was always wore out from swinging around shifts. Absolutely nothing. There I was wanting to happy dance, almost crying, and nothing. Same old well Mom always takes care of everything, makes everything work out. You know what, that gets so old. It would be so nice to have them happy dance with me. To thank me. To say please. Not just to expect and assume. I have always hugged them, happy danced with them, thanked them, said please, encouraged them, etc., etc. Would some of that for me be too much to ask for? Apparently so.
They act like I do almost nothing at work. Got news for them. Being an RA in an Alzheimer's Unit is very hard work. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. An on your feet all day on concrete floors (even if they are covered up to look nice). It's not easy on this middle aged woman. Doc tells me to remove all stress from my life or it will kill me. HAH! How can you do that with a husband who is dying and yet a 'functional' alchoholic. He has a defibrillator implant for his heart. I have to work fulltime and keep insurance on us and our girl and boy. Without insurance we couldn't afford all his meds, or mine for that matter.
Enough bellyaching. But it does feel good to have someplace to just let it out. We're very lucky to have a low house payment, low credit card debt. And we know how to stretch that dollar. No, we don't eat out, don't go to movies, don't have vacations, etc. But our kids have lived in the same home since they were born and still have parents who have gotten divorced. Our kids are smart, scary smart. They know what they want to do with their life and that includes Master's Degrees. They know the value of a dollar and how to clean a toilet. They can cook and clean as well as any adult. I'm so proud of them and what I can see in their future. No druggies or smokers, or alcoholics my kids. They know that to change the world we live in, they have to be that change. And they are working very hard towards that goal. I may be unhappy with their interactions with me, but I can't fault how they are living their lives. Besides, I know that I alone am responsible for how they view and treat me. Compared to a lot of others my life is easy peasy. There are many blessings in my life. And I am thankful. We have survived many things that we thought we would not, and we have a real home. The kind where other people come in and feel at home. It's not a mansion, nor a hovel. It's just right. And it's ours. Thank you Lord, for all the blessings you have bestowed on us.

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