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Keeping myself going even when heart is not in it...

jlbrown3711's picture
on December 17, 2006 - 10:02am

It is a gorgeous Sunday morning and all is very quiet at the Brown home. My oldest daughter Emily went to work with dad this morning, and so its just Sarah, Kevin and myself today. Oh yes, Brownie too. Yep, Spouse does work Sundays too at times. I tell you his work habbits are so messed up its not even funny. But thats a story for another day. I thought about yesterdays post and I can not help but laugh when I think about it. I must have been totally out of my mind. Thats ok, we are all entitled to those days when we just don't think rationally. Just some have those days more often than others. LOL. Ho hum, why ya all looking at me like that?

I had this huge headache last night, but despite the fact , I still managed to make myself go on a walk. I have been really good all week about going on them. I have done one almost every night now and I feel real proud of myself that I am making myself do them even when I don't really feel up to it. I get this real sense of accomplisment afterwards. It is an amazing feeling knowing that I am doing something good for myself. But last night, I took my Closer CD which I hadn't listen to in quite awhile. It was nice to hear something different. Very refreshing. I think all the songs that struck me last night as I walked in the night time air was Mi Morena. Don't know why, but that song just sounded beautiful as my feet hit the pavement, and watched the stars in the night time sky.I am starting to get addicted to these night time walks. Having the music really keeps me going. I think the reason why I have been inspired to do all this walking is that every morning when I take my kids to school, I see this older man walking almost the same path every single day. I have lived in Gustine for quite a few years now, and I can't remember a day when I haven't seen him walk. Yes, he is older, and probably is retired, but the fact that he does it every single day is just so remarkable. To have that kind of discipline and determination is something truly worth admiring. He is the kind of person we should look up to. I know, look up to somebody who just walks? Yes, because he is doing something for himself that he knows he should. How many people do you know can stick to something like that every single day?I have seen people take better care of their homes and cars then they do their own bodies. I admit, it is really hard to do. Some people were just born with will power and discipline like you wouldn't believe. Sadly, I have to really work at it. But if I don't try, then I won't know how far I can go. I am so determined to get this body to feel better and be the best it can be that I am really putting more effort into it. Its not that I am in bad shape, cause honostly, I am pretty ok with myself considering I have had 3 kids. I just feel the need to keep myself going in a positive direction, and that starts with being physically fit. I can't say I will be able do this every single day, but I am trying to do what I can. Yeah for me!

Ok, enough with the I can do it speech. HAHAHA. Silly me, on a roll again. ANYWAY, I saw a movie last night before I went to bed. It was called Christmas Do Over. It is kind of like the movie Ground Hogs day in which the character re lives the same day over and over, except this movie he relives Christmas. Can you imagine reliving one day over and over? How freaky would that be? If I had to re live a day over and over, I would have to say either the day I first met Josh, seeing that was the first time I ever saw him ever sing in person which was too cool for words, or The day I met Michael Buble. I wish I would have remembered to speak to him as well. I regret not thanking him too.Especailly after what he did for me and Emily at his first concert. What a wonderful person he is. But the moment itself was still awesome. What, you suprised I didn't say getting married or having a child? HAHAHA. Who the heck wants to relive the joy of labor over and over? And as for the married part, well, one time is painful enough as well..... LOL.... I know, me bad for saying that. HAHAHA. But the movie last night was a cute movie to say the least. Too bad you can't go back and re live days. There would be things I would have done differently. Darn reality!

Well, let see, what do I have planned today? Hm, not much. Just keeping up with the house cleaning now that a couple of members are gone for the day. I am hoping to go on another walk later, but we shall see. I may do some more writing as I have neglected that lately. Just have not been too inspired. Maybe I will suddenly find some inspiration, who knows.

Hope every one has a great day and smiles at all the great possibilities a new day can bring. Remember to go hug a friend today!!! My tip for today is remember when men get sick, it is the end of the world..... Ok, not all men, but...........

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