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Feeling the after effects

jlbrown3711's picture
on December 22, 2006 - 10:47am

Well, I feel just down right awful this morning as I am still recovering from last nights big debate on FOJG. It has left me with a huge headache this morning and I can't get rid of it. Its been awhile since a disussion has left me feeling this way. I am a bit sad at the fact that I opened my mouth at all. I am usually not one for being a part of this kind of debate on the boards. My first instinct was to stay away from the subject, but I chose not to. But because I went ahead, I now have a bunch of people who probably think I have lost my mind or something. I will still defend my opinions on it, as I still feel the article was a little bothersome to me, but I will no longer talk about it on the boards. I should have known better than to express an unpopular opinion. I think I can truly see why so many are afraid to speak their true minds.It is very hard when you are in the minority. A person can feel ganged up on at times. I was even accused of "pretending" to be offended. At that point, I really wanted to let my anger go then, but I chose to be civil. Just for the fact that it is Christmas time, and we all need to be a little nicer to each other. Even that was hard. I am a nice person, or atleast I think I am, so it bothers me when anger takes a hold of me this strongly. It is not a pleasant feeling. I ended up deleting all my comments from that thread as I felt my opinions really didn't matter as people continued to make jokes and probably still are. I am not mad at any Grobanites, and I don't expect anyone to say or feel sorry, as it was me that stayed and kept reading. I could have walked away, but didn't. I blame myself for being as upset as I am as I made the choice to continue with a very hot topic for me. I SHOULD HAVE STAYED THE HECK AWAY!!!!!! But think about it, knowing someone is bothered by a word, and then see so many people going around making jokes about it, how does do you think I am suppose to feel? Yes, I am sure I need to lighten up on the subject, and will in time. I do feel for my friend who shares some of the same beliefs and values as I do and was extremely upset over the issue as well. I was really trying hard to stand by her side through this whole thing. I really thought thats what friends did. She was in tears about it and I do feel bad that it gotten to that point. I cannot help but feel responsible for that too. I don't expect anyone to agree with my thoughts or feelings, but you know I have delt with my own spouse making fun, or taking light of my feelings for quite sometime, and the last place in the world I wanted it to happen was on FOJG. It WAS my happy place. I am not sure where I am going from here as I find my emotions in a whole new level of uncertanity. I am still a fan of Josh, his music, and always will be. I just don't know anything else after that. I just don't feel the same about anything anymore. I think I just need time to calm down and stay off the subject altogether.

Anyway, I said what I had to say. I apologize if anyone didn't like my opinions on what I said on FOJG. It wasn't meant to cause any big debate.

I wish everyone a Safe and happy Holidays. May you find peace in your life. Grobanites still rock!

My tip for today, bring a muzzel when your posting on FOJG...........You might end up needing one.

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