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Finding some trust

jlbrown3711's picture
on March 3, 2007 - 9:15am

It is a beautiful new morning and life is starting to get busy already this morning. One of the kids has just gotten up, but I suspect the other two will shortly follow. I was thinking of spending some time on line with friends, but my heart has recently been discouraged from doing so. Seems someone has been taking things I have said in my journals and using them for kicks on my favorite site. I knew things were getting strange for me here, but yesterday made it clear that someone thinks I am a joke. It breaks my heart that someone would think that of me as I feel like I am nice to everyone.At least I try to be. Who would not want to be nice to Grobanites? I just don't understand why someone has to make fun of me or the things I say. As hurt as I am, it would be real easy for me to say I am never going to go back to this place.I am real tempted to say that, but then it would be giving into what ever twisted game they are playing. I probably won't be posting as much as I did before, as I feel as if someone has taken the fun out of it for me, but I will still be around. Hard to leave the good friends that I have made there. They have meant more to be then you can ever imagine. Just now I have to watch what I say.* sigh* I think what hurts the most about all this is that it made me doubt a really good friend of mine. I wanted to seriously pour out all my emotions about it because I was probably wrong for feeling that way. I am doubting my self now. Not a good feeling. I hate the feeling of not being able to trust. Once you loose it, it is really hard to get back. But maybe if I keep my faith, maybe it will come back.....

I am however, not going to let this totally bring me down. I am still going to try to be my goofy self when I feel like letting her loose. Better watch out when that happens. I think my hamster in my head is still mad at me....he seriously fell off the wheel again, and smoke is now coming out my ears....well, I guess its better than coming out my......Never mind. At least I haven't totally lost my humor.....LOL My mind maybe.......

Well, I hope everyone has a great week end and know I will always be thinking of ya! Across the miles we may be, but a friendships heart we can always see........Love to all my friends....

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"Anything that builds up

a simple sense of pleasure

or optimism can be effective

in building up the base

coat of happiness deep in

your heart."....Thomas Kinkade

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