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First Entry

SamsGirl2002's picture
on March 10, 2007 - 2:16am

I'm not even sure I want to post an entry...but probably no one will read it anyway. Maybe it will just get lost among the thousands of other Grobie entries. I've kind of been having a hard time finding where I fit in here. I guess my overall shyness (and insecurity)is alive and well even in cyberspace. LOL

Really looking forward to the Vegas concert, and to just getting out of town!!! EVERYONE at work keeps asking me "how many days?" LOL Last night, I had to stop and think when one of my friends asked. Then she laughed and said..."You mean you don't know?" But I just said, well, it's midnight now...it could go either way!

I'm a bit sad when I think about what HOG said about my BSP entry. I am so proud of it, especially since it's the very first thing I've EVER attempted to do with Photoshop. Everyone at work and among friends that I've shown it to says they really think it's good. But when I showed him, the first thing he said is, "I don't think it will win." That really hurt my feelings. And honestly, I don't expect to win...for a couple of reasons (some of which have nothing to do with whether my entry is "good" or not). I truly am not very creative or artistic, so I wasn't even going to enter, but then I figured, what the heck. And if I don't win, that's fine, but a bit of support and encouragement from HOG would have been greatly appreciated!!!

I really have a hard time letting some of that kind of stuff go...I get so tired of trying to keep up my own spirits and encourage myself. I thought that part of being in a relationship is to encourage the other person...not drag them down.

I am certainly no angel, and sometimes I get so irritated with HOG that I can't even see straight, I'm not as "good" to him as I should be either. I get tired of being the one to do all...or most...of the giving, with little or nothing in return.

I try not to think about this too much because it depresses me, and I have enough trouble with depression without "looking" for it!!!

Well...better get to work...time to start getting ready to run morning samples.

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