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It is beautiful out

jlbrown3711's picture
on March 12, 2007 - 1:56pm

It is an amazingly beautiful day today as the sun is just brilliantly warming every thing to life. It is in the 80's and I can't help but enjoy the warmth that it brings.It is making me long to be out by the lake and enjoy a picnic of sorts. I would enjoy it more, but I am feeling really tired and all I seem to want to do is take a nap. I wish I could. But you know us moms, always on the go. It has been a very stressful time in my life, so I imagine the effects of the stress will take its toll. I am trying not to let that happen. I have been really tired the last few nights especially as I haven't had much sleep. My mind has been filled with so many distant thoughts that I cannot seem to get any rest. I am trying though. It is ok, I suspect I will have many of these nights. Trying to start a life again on ones own is really exhausting. Physically and mentally.But I will eventually get there with my hope , faith, and my good friends. I guess all I really need right now is time......

Took the kids to see dad last night and felt sad that they wanted to be there instead of home. But I kept it to myself that it bothered me because I did not want the kids to see how I was hurting. I am doing the best I can trying to keep them busy and to somewhat of a normal life. I think so far they are doing ok. Between Girl scouts, softball, and clarinet lessons, I think they are busy enough. But as I was there, my friend came out to talk with me a little while. I know she means well, but I get kind of tired of hearing people say how much my spouse was hurting. I get that. I don't want him too hurt, but lets face it, I have been hurting for YEARS. Why aren't people saying that? Every one around me keeps telling me that and it makes me feel even more sad. I just need to be at a place in my life where I can feel good about myself and enjoy being around others again. I know what I am doing is the right thing to do, but I do feel as people look down on me. That might sound odd, but it is just how I feel. She than proceeded to start throwing the bible at me. Not literally of course. I do not know why she thinks I do not pray or believe in God. I do. I pray all the time. Just tired of people telling me that too I guess.

Anyway, wasn't intending to spout more of my personal problems here today, just sort of happens. At least I have a place to just say what ever that goes on in my goofy head. Yes, I still have some goofiness still left believe it or not. Even though that little hamster gets knocked off a few times, it still manages to climb back on occasionally.LOL..........

Hope everyone has a wonderful day and keeps finding their own happiness in their lives. Life is hard at times, but I suppose that is necessary to get to the comfort, and happiness we all strive for. Take care of all your beautiful selves.

My tip for today is look under the couch before you stick your vacuum under there. God knows, if your own hamster gets loose it might get caught in it.....I know, lame..............!!!!!!!!

*16 days til Groban*

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