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Love Me For a Reason

Ampatamia's picture
on March 16, 2007 - 6:25pm

Dear Josh - I am still in that same kind of self-reflective mood, I was in during my last entry. Seeing the tour clip on the Friday feature did not help. It kind of reaffirms the reality that we live in two totally different worlds that will never intersect. I am VERY HAPPY for all the Grobies who get to meet and talk to you. They are quite lucky indeed to get a moment of your attention. But I also feel sad that it will never be me.

I am sorry that I feel this way. I truly don't want to, but I can not deny that I do. I am not a stalker, a crackpot or a religious fanatic. I am just a human being who needs to be honest about an attraction to someone who is out of reach. I don't want to scare, worry or offend you or any other Grobies. Instead I want to be a fan that knows her boundaries (i.e her place) and that has a right frame of mind concerning you, but to do so, I must honestly face the pain that urks in the shadows. It is how I move on now that you have come and gone.

To comfort myself, I have returned to some Osmond music. I am going to post the lyrics here with slight changes in them because the poetry speaks to what I am feeling inside. So here it goes.

The first song is called Keep Her In Mind by Donny Osmond from his 2005 album: What I Meant To Say.

"Something about how he moves me, soothes me. Whispers my name and I am rendered helpless.

All my defenses are broken now. I'm lost in this love and there's no easy way out.

I am gonna keep him in my mind. Just to keep him out of my heart. Cause I really don't want to fall in love before we even start. I know inside that he is the angel of my soul. He is the answer to my prayer. I know I'd better keep him out of sight because they say that love is blind. So I will just keep him in mind.

He is so intoxicating, amazing. His eyes burn like fire, and I'm frozen, broken.

All my defenses desert me now. I am trying to speak, but my words don't make a sound,

Keep him out my soul. Always keep him where I can't lose control. Oh no. I am falling, I feel it. I just can't believe it. How much that I need him right now.

I don't wanna. I don't wanna fall. I know inside that he's the angel of my soul. He's the answer to my prayer. I will keep him out of sight because they say that love is blind. So I will just keep him in mind."

The second song is called Love Me For a Reason by the Osmond Brothers. The poetry speaks to the uncomfortableness I feel with the words " I love you." that you use so flippantly with your fans. I am typing these words from memory so bear with me.

"Boy when you hold me, how you control me. You bend and you fold me, any way you please. It must be easy for you, the loving things that you do. But just the fact that I am for you, I can never be.

And I never know, boy, if I should stay or go boy. It's a game that you play keeps driving me away.

So don't love me for fun, boy Let me be the one, boy. Love me for a reason, and let the reason be love.

Kisses and caresses are only mine...of love which expreses between a woman and a man. So if love everlasting, isn't what you are asking. I will have to pass, boy, and PROUDLY take a stand.

I can't continue guessing because it is only messing up my pride, up my mind, so right now, it is time to tell you

Don't love me for fun, boy. Let me be the one, boy. Love me for a reason, and let the reason be love.

I am just a little old-fashioned. It takes more than a physical attraction. My initial reaction is: Honey give me LOVE not a FACSIMILE OF...

Don't love me for fun, boy. Let me be the one boy. Love me for a reason and let the reason be LOVE.

Thank you for letting me do this. May God continue to bless you, Josh, wherever you are.

Sincerely,

Anne-Marie

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