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I've lost the magic

nathelle's picture
on May 23, 2007 - 6:13pm

Things are just getting suckier by the day. I don't even have the energy to come on here and read posts anymore. I don't listen to Josh anymore. I don't know why...Well actually I do, I just don't want to admit that the depression is not going away. The damn meds are really messing me up. The other day I got in the car and was looking for my cigs. I search the entire front seat, my purse, the floor and then I realized they were in my left hand. And at night my dreams are so vivid and weird. I know that dreams are usually weird, but my dreams are like I am actually living them. I wake up and it feels like I haven't slept. Add to all this crap the fact that my hormones are going wacky and today in TKD I was sweating and having hot flashes at the same time. Not to mention what the meds are doing to my sex life. I called Grammie yesterday to say hi and asked her if depression ran in her family. She said no and she should know being 93 years old. She made me sad when she said she didn't have a lot of people to talk to anymore. I have to remember to call her more than once in a blue moon. So, that's it...I feel terrible that I don't even talk to B anymore. B, if you read this, I still love you and miss you. When I get better, I'll be back. Kati & Nina - I know you guys are hardly on here anymore and won't probably read this, but I had fun in Arizona. I still laugh about the fry sauce!

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