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A peaceful evening

jlbrown3711's picture
on June 5, 2007 - 9:05pm

A beautiful Tuesday evening, and things are pretty quiet this evening. Although I only worked a few hours today, I still feel somewhat exhausted from my job. I suppose being on ones feet for even just a few hours is still quiet tiring. Although as tiring and busy it gets for me, I really do like being at work. Makes me feel needed at times. It has been so long since I have felt that way, so its kind of a nice feeling. Sure, I was needed a lot when I stayed home with my kids,atleast thats what I told myself, but it never felt that way to me so many times. I always felt like my job wasn't important. I know, silly thought cause I know perfectly dam well it was. I can imagine most house moms at one time feel that way.It really can take a lot away from a persons spirit if they aren't careful. Believe me, I know that for a fact. We just never get the respect that I think we deserve. Oh well, life is not always fair and what you'd expect it to be. But ya know, as hard as it was at times to stay home, it was very rewarding at the same time. And though I love being back at work, I do miss being able to be there for the kids and the house. I always did enjoy taking care of my house.

My children are home with me tonight and I feel blessed that they are. I feel a little guilty I have not enough money to do something fun with them, but times are tough. I think they are handling it just fine. I know they probably want to do more, but they do seem to understand I just can't spend money like I use to. Although I think if I save some money for awhile (if I can) I may take them to disneyland next year in the summer. I think it would be a nice surprise. I actually heard a compliment today from the baby sitters as I was picking them up. She told me that they were some of the most well behaved children she had seen. I just could not help but wonder, what, my kids??? Naaaaa, they are great kids.Love them so much. Always so proud of them. In fact my oldest daughter Emily just got the presidential award for making the scholastic honor roll 6 out of 8 years. She got a certificate and a letter signed by the President of the United States. How cool is that? Kind of makes a parent feel good when they see their child achieve such good things. I just wish all children in this world were as lucky. But I know many are not.So it is really up to us adults to help those who need that extra help. Even with my kids having to go through a divorce, they are still lucky. At least their parents are fighting beyond reason. Which is good. No matter what parents feel about one another, they should never put the kids in the middle of it. Not fair for them at all. I know they will get through this because they will always know that they are loved. And though their parents are no longer together, I think they will be better off for it. Simply because mom is in a better place emotionally than she use to be. That in itself makes a huge difference.

I am sitting here by an open window wishing it would rain. I have my Hot chocolate, and am finding some peace with a slight breeze that is making its presence known. The breeze has a wonderful coolness to it that feels so good on my skin. Kind of makes me dream of my mini vacation next week. I so look forward to some time to just relax by an ocean and forget my stress even for just a little while. I better enjoy this weather now, cause a month from now, it will be too hot to have a window open. Then I will be stuck having to use my A/C....yuck. The idea of putting money into the people of PG& E just makes me

I think the one thing I miss the most since going back to work is talking to my friends. I have missed being on FOJG and feel like I have missed out on a lot. I wonder if any one even noticed I was gone.....Probably not. They probably think hey, that girl who posts alot isn't here.....its about time. LOL. Just kidding. I think the ladies are too Joshed to even notice when someone is MIA. Man, its been too long since I have been Joshed. Although I will say I listen to Josh every day to and from work. I just don't want to listen to any one else at that time. Some thing very comforting about the voice, the sound, and the melody as I drive through the open farm lands.Certain music is just perfect for driving. I don't know what it is, but I put on his Cd, and I end up putting You are Loved on repeat. I seem to listen to that song 3 or 4 times in a row. Why ya think that is? I just adore that song and its message. I guess in a way I still need to hear it. Maybe it is gods little way of sending his own message.....I always believed he uses people to send others messages.....I doubt singers and songs are no exceptions.

Oh, something else I miss is my long walks around my town. Been thinking about that a lot this evening as I sit here enjoying the wind through my open windows. I use to walk quite often with my head phones and the night time stars. I really miss that moment alone to myself. Was always a peaceful time for me when I did that. But I just have not had the time or energy to go on one. I may just surprise myself one of these nights and make myself go on one. I certainly need to feel the connection again between me and the glorious stars that I once call my friend.

Anyway, enough of me rambling.....still surprised any one still reads this. Like my thoughts are really that interesting.LOL........Hope you all have a wonderful day, evening, and week.....Just know that life will surprise ya when ya least expect it...... Keep your eyes open for lifes little moments that keep you going.............Take care to all...You are loved!!!!!!!!!!

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A dream

weather at night

as you are sleeping

or during the day when you

desire for more.......

are both your minds way

of telling you

that you can do more

with your life

if you put your mind, heart

and soul into

everything you do.."......L. Brown

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