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Still un-named and going sloooow

vijaykumar's picture
on June 8, 2007 - 4:59pm

So, this didn´t turn out to go as smooth as I thought, I´m working everyday untill 23.00 and by the time i´m home and have taken my shower had some time to rest before I sleep (I know, sounds stupid doesn´t it, "rest before one sleeps") the time is suddenly 02.00 and i´m so tired i can barelly walk to my bedroom! But here goes nothing.. again.. so just as I said, comments and comments and more comments on this impro thing!

For Catherine this moment was like every other. A deja vu passing like one of many. The only difference was the sound of that sweet music in the background of all that noise. She had heard the story and the complaints so often that she had learned how to block it out from her head. It even made her focus more on matters in school. But she had never heard such a sweet sweet voice or music since she could remember. A magnificant voice, might have been an old man who had endured a lot of suffering during his life. Or maybe she could relate to suffering at all that made her feel a sence of it from that voice.

There had really been nothing left in her life but suffering, since she was constantly remainded of the suffering she put her mother through even before she was born. For 38 winterns, on every day of her birthday each november she would hear the story from her mother of how she had suffered giving birth to a misstake. A punsihment she couldn´t get ridd of in her exact words. And she had never been the same since then.

Throught the Operapop ballad Catherine is once again reminded of how her mother got pregnant from her rapest and how she was too weak to give her up, though it was her biggest wish, since Catherine is a constant reminder of the man responsible for the act. This year her birthday isn´t any different from the rest.

It starts out as always, waking up early to get ready for school as she queitly dresses and has a quick breakfast watching her mother lying amungst vodka bottles and beer cans on the floor beside the small couch, that looked old enough to think it was brought from a trash can. The purple colour never made it any better it always enhanced the old looks of it.

Catherine always wondered how come her mother never slept on the couch instead of the floor, then she starred at her mother reflecting on how she looks these days. She wasn´t always this terrible, catherine is determined there was a time when her mother was at a better place, a time she remebered her mother as beautiful and almost human...

True, there was a time when Catherines mother was a selfconfidant beautiful woman with beautiful brown hair and cherry coloured lips. Her dark brown eyes that could almost see through ones flesh. Everyting just seemed ro have faded.

She could even remember her mother being pleasant with her from time to time. A quality that faded with the years. Eventhough she was never as good as the rest of the mothers, like her so called friends mothers. Often catherine had wondered if it had changed because of the way her own appearence had changed, since she looked more and more like everything but her own mother. Standing there beside what seemed to be a corpses, for the amount alcohol consumed by Catherines mother made her seem more unconscious than asleep on the carpetless floor, she wondered about at what time the hatred in her mothers heart really took hold. She knew that then after school when she would come back home, that she would hear those bitter words from her mothers mouth, just as she had done for 38 winters.

Catherine felt an eerie sensation, she could not stop listening to this majestic voice in the background that seemed to drown her mothers voice, her own thoughts.

This latest winter was one of the worst ever. Catherine would at times feel so cold she swore she could feel the blood in her body moving slower at some places. The worst thing about it was during mornings when she went to school. It took her more than 40 minutes going from her house to school, and every morning was the same thing, the subway train was always late due to weather circumstances an the fact that it was an old train from the 60´s that didn´t have a fresh engine anymore. But hat was the least of her problems.

At times standing there waiting for the train she often thinks about why her mother kept her and what she would do it it had been her who got pregnant by her rapest. Would she even keep the baby like her mother did? And for that matter, why? She got interrupted wither her thoughts by a female voice
- cathy? Is that you?

Ok I know, I know, it´s not the best, but still I belive in that it can turn better :) And I know it jumps here and there.. but still I´ll come up with something more exciting I promise... besides it´s so late and i´ve been working for 14 hours straight (not that i´m forced to do this, I mean I chose to do this myself to hear comments and do something for fun :D)and it´s 02.23 now.. sooo good night and hopefully it will become better and better, you´l see a development, send suggestions on what you think should happen!!!!!!! ok good naiight

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