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It's really aggrivating when

MJKC9397's picture
on August 13, 2007 - 8:29pm

someone that's been there for you all of your life just up and bails on you! My cousin and I have been close ever since I can remember calling her 'baby' when she was born! Even though we've lived several hundred miles away from each other for most of our lives, we have always been close...sharing secrets with each other, helping one another through the toughest of times, celebrating successes, and everything in between. In fact, she's the person who introduced me to Josh's music. A few months ago, I realized that she wasn't calling anymore...I was always the one to call her...I tried not to think anything of it, and just figured maybe she was trying to "figure out who she was". The last time I spoke to her was in May...she had lost her job. We had been in a direct-sales company together for almost 5 years, but she hadn't been active in the company for a while...she was the first person to sign up with me...she called me to ask me if I would help her get back into action with sales so that she could make enough to pay her rent that month. During that conversation, she asked me if it would hurt me if she signed up with someone else. I told her of course it would, and that, in fact, it would crush me. I found out today that she did sign with someone else. It was bad enough that her sister didn't invite me to (the sister's own) baby shower, but yet would call me and want to talk about the baby...but the cousin that I've been so close to...needless to say, I'm crushed...

There are so many other things of greater importance in this world to be worrying about and working toward, I realize. But honestly, I just can't help but wonder what's wrong with me! I do the best that I can to grow as a person, to serve God, to be the best wife and mother I can be, to be a really good friend...what am I doing wrong? And yet, it's so weird that even though I have all this turmoil in my life, I am mentally and physically better than I've been in years! I don't get it.

Speaking of physically better--it's time for me to go work out...otherwise I won't be able to sleep...

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