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Stay For Awhile......

Ampatamia's picture
on August 16, 2007 - 9:25am

Dear Josh - Someone once told me many years ago that there are no such things as "co-incidences" in life only "God-incidences." Well, since I last wrote you, I have had an interesting "God-incidence" and it has occurred righ here in Grobania.

At the end of my last e-letter, I stated that I hoped that you had gotten a chance to me Grobie-friend when you performed in her home town about a week and a half ago. Even though Grobie friend had front-row seats, I wondered a bit if you would get the chance to meet her because after all, there is only one of you, and THOUSANDS OF US at one of your performances. But, as fate would allow it - YOU DID MEET HER! YOU TALKED TO HER AND SHE GAVE YOU A HUG! I wish that I could have been a fly on the wall to see that!

When Grobie friend wrote me about this, I have to admit, I was jumping up and down in my seat. It thought that I would be really jealous of her good fortune, but in reality I was REALLY, REALLY HAPPY FOR HER! Because she was blessed with front-row seats, I think that she deserves a few extra momemts of once in a lifetime attention from you. A part of me wishes that I could have been there to share the moment with her.

The hardest part of being the Least of the Grobanites is that I will never meet you face to face, and I will never meet Grobie friend face to face. I am nothing but an impersonal blob behind a computer screen.

But God is good to even us "impersonal blobs." He answers my prayers by putting me in this "one-down" position (especially in relationship to you)so that I will live my life for HIS HONOR AND GLORY and not yours. I do not believe that God sees my affection towards you as "sin," but He is aware of how disordered this affection can become for me, if I am not grounded in reality. And reality here in Grobania means that I will never have any REAL relationship with you, and only a VERY LIMITED ONE with Grobie friend.

I had a theological topic to "bore" you with today, but I am going to scrap it for now. I have been thinking a lot about Grobie friend, and I am wondering if she is experiencing any "post-concert blues." I know that I had them for at least a month after you performed in Rochester, New York, and I did not even meet you! If I had Grobie-friend's experience, I would have been seriously depressed for about THREE MONTHS.

What would fuel this depression, you might wonder. For me, it is a strong desire to get to know you. To be a REAL FRIEND to you rather than an anonymous member of an online community of "Friends" associated in your name. When you have spoken about your "real friends" onstage like Angelique Kidjo (God, I hope that spelled her name right,) you like to mention how beautiful you think that their souls are. (And yes, Josh you do say it that way onstage.) Well, if you still have not figured it out by now, I am not a devoted Grobie because you are young, good-looking or have a beautiful voice. I am a devoted Grobie because you, Joshua Winslow Groban, have a beautiful soul. I know this sounds really stupid coming from a woman of my age, but I guess I want to see that same admiration for my soul reflected in your words and in your eyes. But the only person worthy enough to give me THAT kind of praise and THAT kind of love is my Lord and Savior, Jesus of Nazareth. Being permanently and irrevocably separated from you keeps my eyes on Him, and that is the way it should be.

For me, being at your concerts and hearing your "deliciously flawless voice" with my own ears is a mountain-top experience. Your voice and your music point me to the beauty and grandeur of God. Even though I have only attended two of your concerts, I never want them to end. Like St. Peter, on the Mountain of Transifiguration, I want to say "Lord, it is SO GOOD for us to be here. Let us build a tent...(if you know the Scripture Josh, you can fill in the rest.) But eventually St. Peter and his companions had to come down from that mountain-top experience and so do I and so does Grobie friend. It is hard sometimes to live in reality when you have had THAT KIND of experience.

But, to my utter joy this week, I discovered that one my favorite Christian artist, Amy Grant, has released her music on Itunes. I downloaded an album of hers from Itunes that was SO PIVOTAL to me and my spirituality when I was in my twenties. The title of the album is Amy Grant: The Collection. I played this album A LOT during those painful years when I was in relationship with "Mary Lynn." The song that I want to close this incredibly long e-letter with is called Stay for Awhile. I always thought of her whenever I played this song. Now it makes me think of you and how I wish that I could be closer to you, but I can't. I dedicate the words of this song to Grobie friend if she is caught in the maelstorm of "post-concert blues."

But before I do that always remember Josh..."Take God for your spouse and your friend and walk with him continually. You will not sin and you will learn to love, and the things that you must do will work out PROSPEROUSLY for you." (St. John of the Cross)

Ok, enough theology, now the song....

Long time since I have seen your smile, but when I close my eyes, I remember....

You were no more than a child, but then so was I, young and tender....

Time carries on. I guess it always will. Deep inside my heart, time stands still.

Stay for a while; when it's good to see your smile and I love your company. Stay for a while, and remember the days gone by for a moment it can seem just the way it used to be.

Snow falls, phone calls, broken hearts, clear summer days warm and lazy. Long walks, long talks after dark. We vowed we would never forget, now its hazy.

Time takes its toll and time alters our view. It would be nice to spend some time with you....

Stay for a while; when it is good to see your smile, and I love your company. Stay for a while, and remember the days gone by. For a moment it can seem just the way it used to be.

Stay...please stay...stay, stay,stay...want to, want to...

Stay for a while; when it is good to see your smile, and I love your company. Stay for a while and remember the days gone by, just the way it used to be.

Stay for a while. Oh when it is good to see your smile and I love your company....won't you stay with me... for a while, and remember the days gone by...for a moment it can seem just the way it use to be.....

The way it used to be.....

Take care and God bless, Josh Groban, wherever you are.

Sincerely,

Ampatamia - the Least of All the Grobanites.

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