Skip directly to content

only a few more days...

lindyjean's picture
on August 20, 2007 - 10:36pm

it's only a few days til we make the drive to anaheim to see josh. i'm not so excited this time....i entered a joke but i know i'm not really eligible to win, since i won on the last leg, so i'm not anxious and waiting to hear my cell go off. i'm just chillin', and hoping i'll have a job before the concert....i've been talking to a lot of great, funny ladies, and i'm very sorry i won't be at the Meet N Greet before the show....i'll be meeting up with two other friends beforehand, and we have to coordinate that, and they're not grobanites, so i didn't want to suggest they go to the M&G....i believe i will get to one on the next leg, though....they sound like great fun. however, i have some trepidation, and i'm a little nervous about attending. i'm a little concerned that, as much of a fan as i am, i'm not as obsessed as some of you, and perhaps i'm not worthy to be at a M&G...i know, you'll say i'm being silly, that all are welcome (oooh, that's a line from, "Poltergeist", one of my favorite movies!!). and i gotta tell ya, i'm afraid if i do go to one, i'll slip to that level of fan i'm not sure i want to become. i don't mind if anyone knows i adore josh, but, i do have a limit to what i want put out there about my level of devotion. i'm trying very hard not to say that i think some of us go too far, that i look down on anyone's love---cuz i don't. i admire your passion, i really do. i'm just not comfortable spending any more time on this devotion than i already do. i guess i'm trying to say, i want to still appear to be semi-normal. and again, this sounds like i'm putting down those who are way more into it than i am, and i'm not....it's just too much for me, at some point.
i had a friend who used to sell tupperware, and she had to go to these meetings, where women would hold up a colorful salad bowl with its snap-tight lid, and everyone would dance around and wave their arms, and chant,"tupperware, tupperware"..they'd be whipped up into a selling frenzy over the love of a plastic dish. and i have these images of going to the M&G, and it being kind of the same thing, but it's josh, not tupperware, that women are gathered together to celebrate.....and this image just kind of scares me.....and then, i think of all the guys who get together in front of a tv and watch football, cheer for their respective teams, and yell and hoot and curse at the screen, and i wonder, is loving josh really any different??? is a M&G our take on the tailgate party? i wonder if i can go to a M&G and remain somewhat detached, on the periphery of the tomfoolery, and continue to tell myself, i'm not as goofy as they are, i'm not as crazy as they are...i think i'm afraid i won't be able to do that, and that scares me...
i guess i'll just have to go to one of these get-togethers and see what they're all about. will there be singing to tupperware? will there be, like under an evangelist's tent, scores of open arms, trying to drag me into the fold? will i resist? will i be enraptured and changed forever? i have spent my long life being contrary---going against the tide. if i throw in with the lot of you, will i be copping out on what has been the definitive trait of my personality? will my friends just think i've gone over the edge, like some born-again zealot they don't want to talk with, as the subject always comes back to josh??
silliness--okay, i exaggerate to make my point. but seriously, some of you DO scare me.......

[]