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Need Some Advice

vijaykumar's picture
on August 22, 2007 - 9:52am

Okay...I don't have kids of my own but I recently moved in with my sister and her family, due to life circumstances and to help her out! I LOVE my nieces to no end but they RULE my sister..they will NOT give her a MINTUES peace and if I or anyone offer to do somehing for them, you get an attidude and a growl "I WANT MOMMY" Today she was on the phone trying to get their car towed and my niece wanted her morning "pink milk" so I made it and took in to her only to have a toy thrown at me and the door slammed in my face (did I mention they're 5 and 3.this is the 5 yr old) They don't listen to ANYONE..they dont pick up their toys, go to bed til MIDNIGHT even though we get them ready early.the oldest thinks that EVERY time we go out we HAVE to buy her something and she pitches a FIT when we dont..cries and screams like she's being MURDERED!
My sister admits she nas no patience and gives in too easy..she doesnt really punish them or hit them. I know why bc we had a HORRIBLE childhood and were beaten within an inch of our lives for no reason and I soo do not believe in that but I hate to say it but her kids may need ONE good smack on the butt occasionaly! (not that *I* would to it.bc I do NOT hit other peoples kids..I've had friend and other relatives tell me I can when I've watched thier kids,but I WILL NOT EVER hit someone elses child.EVER!) Am I a bad person to say that they need this?
I love my sister more than anyone..she's like my heart and I see now why she's always so stressed when I talk (there's more going on but it snot my story to tell..lets just say my BIL is not at ALL who thought he was but its up to HER to make up her mind when she's had enough of the emotioal abuse, etc..I cant TELL her what to do..she has to come to that decision on her own.it took ME 8 years to get out of an abusive realtionship..well maybe less bc he wasnt abusive at firt) Anyway...I try to help the best I can, give her extra money than my share of the rent, clean, tend to them when I can but I'm at my wits end! She continues to break down and give into them and while Abby (the younger) is more laid back and can take the word NO, Grace is outta control. Shannon isn't a BAD parent but she needs some damage control!! I dont have kids of my own and I know people hate when others try to tell them what to do but I HAVE taught pre-school aged kids so I KNOW a LITTLE bit..lol...and I KNOW she needs help...does anyone have any suggestions? Normally I am REALLY patient with kids,esp at that age.i can tune the minor stuff out (she can't) but lately they're even on MY last nerve...you have ot screech like a lunatic to get them to listen and you cant take them out in publc..people always smile bc they're so cute....til they start to act up..they cant sit still or behave in a resturant..and when my BIL isn't out to sea, he's NO help..he lets her deal with it all while he sits on the sofa and watches tv or chats online (dont get me started on THAT) I cant blog about this on Myspace bc she'll see it but she cant get on here so...I just needed to vent and hopefully get some advice!
I used to be envious of her (not horribly but a little) b/c I thought she had it all: a husband, two beautiful girls, a house...now I'm chershing my single life more than ever!! I'm at my witt's end.what can I do to help her? She and I are both going back to work w/in the next month so I'll have them for part of the day and I KNOW that's gonna be hell at first..she's been home with them since they've been born..She NEEDS this job for her own sanity as well as for financial reasons..I dont wanna overstep my boudaries and i dont want her to think Im ungrateful bc I LOVE being here (she read in one of my Myspace bulltiens that I was homesick..I just told her that I LOVE it here but I miss my friends) What can I do to restore some order around here? The girls dont listen to their own mom so they rarely listen to me.THEY run the house not her and its GOT to stop!!
sorry this was so long.I just HAD to get this off my chest. I LOVE the girls to death and they ARE good kids...Grace has VERY low self esteem at five and I'm trying to help her with that bc we dont want her to end up like me.doubting and bascially desping her very existance!! So to those of you who stuck with me and read this THANKS and ANY adive would me soo welcome!!

*sorry for all the typos.I'll edit later.I wanna try and clean while they're out....my poor sister is three steps away from a nervous breakdwon

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