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my horoscope only the way i could see it

jlbrown3711's picture
on September 13, 2007 - 1:39pm

Monthly career (by Astrology.com)
On the 1st and 2nd, you have a lot of energy.( I DON"T THINK SO) You're feeling extremely good, and your career is really benefiting. ( ITS PART TIME> I DOUBT IT) After all, when you get up early, go for a nice run,( I DON"T RUN UNLESS IT IS TOO THE BATHROOM) shower, eat a healthy breakfast and come into work feeling fit and fantastic, you get a huge amount accomplished. On the 8th, even if you know much more than someone you're arguing with, avoid arrogance. Approach them with calm respect for their ideas (even if said ideas are idiotic), ( I WON"T MENTION ANY NAMES) then slowly and logically point out the flaws in their plan before you present your (brilliant) ideas. (OF COURSE MY IDEAS ARE BRILLIANT) Don't worry, you'll win the argument.(ALWAYS DO>>>LOL) By the 12th and 13th, it's time to bring a little culture into your life. ( IS YOUGURT GOOD ENOUGH?) Why not ask the boss to take the office staff to the opera? (AND WHY DON"T I ASK MY BOSS TO PAY ME WHEN I AM NOT THERE) It could be a real morale builder.( IF SHE ACTUALLY DID IT, IT WOULD BE) On the 18th, you're charming ( HEY< I ALWAYS AM)-- no question. But can you turn that charm into a promotion?( I AM NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL) The answer is yes, you can.( I SAID I AM NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL) On the 23rd, there could be another breakdown with the shipment process. ( WHAT AM I SHIPPING?) If your coworker is trying to back out of taking responsibility, don't let them. On the 28th and 29th, you're ready to start wrapping up the month with a few exciting developments.( BARNEY COMING TO TOWN?) Where are you headed? (THE FUNNY FARM MOST LIKELY. ANY ONE WANT TO JOIN ME?)
Daily couples love (by Astrology.com)
Banish any skepticism in light of this new opportunity that has just come up for you two. (I AM TRYING) You'll need all your faculties in order to spot even more avenues for improvement. ( HOW CAN I IMPROVE ON PERFECTION?) Start seeing possibilities instead of doubts. ( OK< STOP NAGGING ME)
Daily flirt (by Astrology.com)
Take the day off if you can. (WORK HAS DONE THAT FOR ME) You totally deserve some time at the spa or in front of the television or wherever else you want to hang. ( IN NEW YORK WOULD BE IDEAL. BUT THEN HANGING OUT IN A SPA IN FRONT OF THE TV SOUNDS GOOD TOO) Talk a friend into doing the same if you don't mind being a bad influence.( HOW IS IT BAD TO WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE HAVING FUN ?) -
Weekly romance (by Astrology.com)
This week is bookended with the kind of energy that can lead you to some very romantic places! ( GOD, I WISH) Starting on Monday and Tuesday, you're extra attractive and endearing.( WHAT, DID I GET A NEW FACE?) If you're already involved, expect that involvement to sweeten and deepen, and if you're on the market, you're a very hot item! ( I DON"T SIT ON MARKETS< AND I FEEL COOL ACTUALLY) Then, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, passions run high (BETTER THAN LOW) -- will you end up in a lovers' quarrel? (HECK NO) Locked in an embrace? ( OHHHHHH< YEAHHHHHH.....ME DREAMING) Both? ( HARD TO EMBRACE MYSELF) Enjoy the intensity! ( YOU BET YOUR SWEET BUTT I WILL) As for the days in between, take care of yourself and rest up among all the action. ( WHAT ACTION IN BETWEEN? IT HAS BEEN SO LONG THAT I CAN"T REMEMBER WHAT THAT WAS) -
Monthly romance (by Astrology.com)
This month is an extremely romantic one for you. (AWWWW< DID JOSH COME BACK TO TOWN?....) Whatever blockages have been holding you back fade away. (BLOCKAGES??? I DO EAT MY GREENS) If you've been having trouble getting close because you're afraid of being hurt, you're going to get a shot of emotional courage. ( IF YOU SAY SO) If you've been having trouble meeting somebody because you're hung up on your ex, you're about to have a much-needed burst of amnesia. ( HAHAHAH< I DOUBT THAT>>I THINK ITS BECAUSE THE PERSON I AM INTERESTED IN LIVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS COUNTRY) By the 3rd, you're bound to encounter excitement.( BARNEY STARTS HIS TOUR??) On the 7th and 8th, watch out for awkward alliances -- that is, if the person you're interested in is best friends with your ex's current love interest (((UMMMMMM>>>NO) -- and make sure your motives are pure! ( THEY ALWAYS ARE)Revenge and romance don't go together. ( YEAH< ITS HARD TO SAY> I WILL GET BACK AT YOU BY KISSING YOU TO DEATH>>>>>) On the 13th, get outside. You can run,(NOT A CHANCE) jump, walk, hike or bike - ( HOW ABOUT YODEL)- whatever you want. But it's a sure bet that getting your blood pumping will enhance the chances of finding some serious romance. ( I THOUGHT IT WA S ALREADY PUMPING>>>>I'D BE DEAD IF IT WASN"T) On the 18th, you're particularly charming.( MAYBE CAUSE I AM NOT SUFFERING PMS YET) On the 24th and 25th, it's important to talk about your emotional life with the people who are closest to you.( I TRIED ON FOJG BOARDS BUT THEY ARE TOO EMOTIONAL FOR THAT) After all, if you keep it all bottled up, you could miss out on some very important perspectives. ( NOT LOOKING FOR ANY) By the 28th and 29th, you begin to wrap up the month with some real electricity. ( WHAT< DID I STICK MY FINGERS IN A SOCKET?) Wow! - (SHOCKING< I KNOW)

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