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Telling someone you care

jlbrown3711's picture
on September 19, 2007 - 1:19pm

Good afternoon to all. It is simply a beautiful day as the clouds have set in and the breeze is strong as ever. There is even talk of getting some rain here this week. How I would love that. To me, nothing sounds more pleasing then siting around a few candles on a dark afternoon with a cup of hot chocolate and smelling the rain throughout the house. But knowing California the way it is, I seriously doubt we'd get any real good showers. Not here anyway. But we shall see. A woman can wish.....I tired of wishing dam it, bring on the rain!!!!!! I so need to move to a flood zone..... Just kidding..... Maybe I will sit and watch the shower instead....Yes, I still need a life.....

I must say, I am feeling better now than I was the the other day. I suppose I had a moment of weakness and let my inseurities take over my thoughts. But what mother doesn't at times. The fears that come along with being a parent just is so overwhelming at times. Especially when you go through a divorce. I am trying to not let it get to me, but it is hard. It seems I take one step forward, and two steps back. Did get some sleep last night, as finally I could rest without thinking. It did seem to help my emotions 100 percent. Of course I have faith that GOD will get me through this as he always does.

Someone asked me the other day about the new person in my life. Its funny, don't have a lot of people asking about it, but when they do find out they get upset with me because I have not told them. Or some people just act surprised.. Go figure.I guess I am just suppose to broadcast everything all the time...LOL..... Although I will say that tpeople on FOJG are very supportive. I appreciate that alot. Anyway, I did something the other day because I felt so thankful for the changes that were taking place in my life. Believe it or not, I am thankful. When someone comes into your life , weather its GOD, a friend, a co worker, a singer you like, or whoever, and they make you see your life in a different, but better way, it makes me want to appreciate them and let them know how thankful I am because of them. So, I decided to send a letter to a very popular radio person who spends her nights doing dedications to people that truly want to appreciate someone in thier own life. She has heard so many beautiful stories, and I wanted to share mine with her. Yes, I am talking of Delilah. I love listening to her show as all the stories inspire me and they always make me appreciate what I do have in my life. Besides, I know she likes Josh, so she can't be too bad...LOL.... So, I emailed her and told her about a special friend of mine. I wrote it just because I am so greatful of being able to be myself again and wanted to tell others about it. Anyway, didn't expect to get any response or anything as I know she probably gets tons of mail. It was more to just let my thoughts and feelings out. But guess what, she emailed me back. it kind of blew me away when I read it. She was sweet, and very supportive. Of course being the advice lady she is, she offered hers and I took it to heart of course. But she did it in a way that was respectful and not demeaning. It felt like for once some one heard me and they didn't try to make me feel like I was wrong for changing my life. I appreciated that alot. It just seems that when people around here where I live want to offer thier advice to me that they do it in a way that seems to be "talking down" to me. Thats when I get upset at people when they treat me like I have no ability to make choices for myself.Needless to say, the email made my day. And yes my fellow Grobanites, I did ask her to play a Josh song for me. I chose You Raise me up to dedicate to my sweet friend. It just felt like the right song for how I felt. Yes, I have sent him a copy of AWAKE, and yes, he does listen to it and likes it! Woo hoo. another male fan for Josh..LOL....

Not much else going on around little old Gustine. I have turned off the TV for awhile as I am already sick of all the OJ talk.... All I can say is here we go again......I don't know about any of you, but I do not have much faith in the legal system anymore. Enough said.....moving on.....I'd rather spend more positive time thinking then watching people at their worst....

Hope you guys have a great week and keep moving in a positive direction to a better life. It can be hard at times, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Why do I keep imagining the little engine that could. I think I can I think I can.....AS long as I don't start blowing smoke out of me, then I should be ok.... LOL.... Take care !! You are loved!

Learning to take one step at a time

is not always easy,

but its the best way to be stronger inside

so you can arrive to where you want to be

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