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funny & frustrated

joshlover2themax's picture
on November 12, 2007 - 9:57am

Something funny that happened this morning…I couldn’t get my car door open because it froze together. lol. I park outside and I think what happened was it rained and froze the water onto the car. I had to pull really hard to get the door unstuck. lol. And then when I was driving as the car was warming up the ice melted. And it was foggy driving in today. It was really odd because I haven’t seen fog in a long time. I forgot how eerie yet beautiful it makes everything. I passed a tree that was all by itself standing in the fog. I would have stopped and took a picture of it but I really didn’t have time. It was really pretty though.

I have given up on keeping up with schoolwork…at least for today. I’ll probably snap out of this “I don’t give a crap about anything” stage after a bit. But right now there is so much that is going on that I am at a standstill. I don’t know what to start on first. I have a whole bunch of papers due and I can’t find the time to do the research and write them out. I have math work that I don’t understand that is late I think. I have an overdue library book that I need and haven’t returned yet. I have to read more pages for English and I don’t have time to sit down and enjoy a book. If I’m not going to enjoy it why read. Maybe I just need to switch books. This is what happened last time I took English. I got stressed out and so pulled out of the class. I can’t keep up with that and every other class that I have papers and huge tests for. Why is it so hard!? *huge scream of frustration*

In addition to school I am having personal issues with my family. Mom and Dad are hard-to-please people. At least that's how I feel sometimes. Dad wants me to get a job, I get a job. Great, he is happy…until he learns of my debt. Now he is worried that I won’t have enough money for next semester’s tuition. I know that and he is only adding more fuel to the fire. Mom is always worried in her own way about my finances and social life (which is nonexistent) and I have always felt that she never respected my feelings. She puts me down not even knowing it. She has a history of being depressed and I know she goes to a therapist. But I feel that she could be more understanding. Being the only girl among four boys adds a lot of pressure too. I know they just want to protect me from the world but I feel like I am slipping farther away from them because they want to keep me close. Did that make any sense at all?

My parents finally found a house and are in the process of getting it under contract. That is going great and I am really happy for them but I don’t know if I want to move in with them again. But I want my stuff…all of my scrapbooks, my bed, CD covers, etc. It is all in storage because we haven’t had a house to put anything in for a year. I haven’t slept on my own bed for a year! I am really missing my scrapbooks. I will remember something and want to go and look it up and I can’t because I don’t have any of them with me. The only scrapbook I have is the one I am currently working on.

Ugh! Why can’t writing papers come this easily?

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