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Missing someone dearly

jlbrown3711's picture
on December 4, 2007 - 10:43pm

Well, its way past my bed time and I am still up. My mind is so filled with worries, fears and sadness that can't even think straight. I suppose my work schedule last night and getting up at 3 am this morning has made me quite drained and emotional. Yeah, I am one of those gals that needs her 8 hours of sleep or I can't function at my best. Last nights work was interesting to say the least. It was busier than normal as my company held its annual Child spree event. In fact it is going on all week. Basically that means that we host a bunch of under privileged children to a bit of necessary clothes shopping. Its quite a site to see. This was my second one that I have worked at and even more hectic than the last. I must say I really admire my company for hosting such events. Very exciting to see kids get the clothes that they so need. Saw one little boy last night who was blind. He couldn't have been more than 5. Touched my heart profoundly. It was busy, but a very moving event. Almost look forward to doing more of them. I say almost as they are exhausting.....

So, came home from a long day there just to go to bed for a quick 5 hours of sleep to get back up and get ready for work this morning. Another 8 hour day and I am starting to feel it. I was handling things OK until I talked to my sweet friend tonight. He has been trying to come out here to see for the holidays, but the faires are just too much for him. He won't come out and tell me it is too much for him, but I know. This time of year is really expensive. I had a feeling it was not going to happen as soon as I wanted. He says he will get a loan from a bank just so he can come out to see me, but frankly that is a little crazy. As much as I long to see him, I just can't see him putting himself into debt over me. I know I am in the same boat. I have to watch every cent I have now and just can't afford anything. My house is officially up for sale now, so god knows how much time I have left or how I will even pay rent when I do have to move. Life really sucks sometimes. Its funny, all that doesn't even bother me right now. I just hurt so deeply cause I can't be with someone I care alot about. Money, things, they don't mean that much to me as they once did. Not being able to be near a loved one is what really tugs at my heart so heavily. I'd give anything to find some peace in my life this Christmas time....I know it will be very difficult to get through. Some how I have to find strength for my kids and I can't seem to find it. I pray God will get me through this......

Anyway, will write more another day... Me so very tired and better get some sleep before all these tears start a flood around here....

May you all be blessed with being around the person you love the most at Christmas time. Hope the fates keep you together and filled with tons of love. Cherish every moment you have....Don't let the little stresses of life get in between you and someone you love. Don't let it get to that....Enjoy your friend's, your love, your family. Everything.. Before you can't........I just wish I could do more.

Take care, You are off to bed.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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