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Warning: selfish post

Camilla's picture
on December 11, 2007 - 9:41am

So I'm back on planet earth again. My life as I know it. I've had the most wonderful time the last couple of weeks with all the Josh excitement,going to NYC and then find out by Tim Curle that Josh and Tariq was heading to Sweden the week after NYC!! Aaand get tickets to go see him and to be able to talk to him (very beiefly)and get a hug.

A glimps of his attension. A split second in his life to stop and say hi to some girl standing and waiting for him outside a studio in a cold and dark city... A second later he's on his way and won't think anything more of it. His life goes on. Of course.

And while I'm so very grateful for everything I can't help but to feel... sad, lonely and small. My life seems all of a sudden so small and boring. Safe. And I hate myself for feeling this way. I get this "so now what?" feeling that rushes over me and leaves me feeling empty.
I know there's a word for it here on the boards: PCD. Post Concert Depression.
I have PJD, Post Josh Depression and it's not good. He's been spoiling me with meetings, brief conversations, handshakes and hugs and like a girl in a candy store, I want more. More attension. More conversation. Pathetic. SELFISH. I'm sorry, Josh.

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