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My Josh Joy is Gone...

suzypooh's picture
on April 9, 2008 - 6:54pm

No matter what I do now - every time I hear Josh on the radio - an overwhelming pain comes over me and I just want to cry. I used to have such joy when listening to Josh sing, but recent events from these boards have really crushed me - since I have been suspended for reasons I have no idea why and can't get anyone to answer me about - not even Wyatt - I have no idea what is going on or why. But all I know is - I will never be the same and never feel the sense of love, joy and respect I once had for this man. It is really hurting me very deeply that no one cares. No one will listen or even give me the time of day in regards to this matter. I don't know if I will be able to return with the same zeal and excitement I once had. It is just obvious that one of the moderators here on FOJG has it out for me. They obvious are determined that I will never win a contest or meet Josh. Most people would be outraged about this - but not me. Instead it hurts me too badly - so badly - I just go down into a depression that I can't even seem to bring myself out of. I am not like that usually, but without the Josh joy I once experienced - its gonna take a miracle for me to heal and let go of this pain I am experiencing emotionally and spiritually. Oh I can hear some saying, "Oh get a life" - I do have a life beyond these boards in fact it is a good life - but it is stressful and that is one of the reasons why I loved coming to the boards. It would help me relieve the stress and it was a comfort to chat with friends. Apparently, there is a secret enemy though that is determined to shut me out of the one place I have always been able to find love and acceptance. The song "You are Loved" - just doesn't ring true for me anymore. I do not feel loved at all by Josh or any of his family. They may not have anything to do with this, but even if they don't - This is Josh's fanclub that bears his name and obviously he doesn't seem to care what is going on here. Because he's just letting this stuff happen to people who don't deserve it. People who have never been suspended before or done a thing to hurt anyone. So if Josh Groban is that apathetic about his own fanclub - except when we raise a lot of money for the charity - then I don't feel loved. I don't feel accepted and I don't think I will be able to stay. Because this has been a very emotional and painful experience for me. I don't know that I can continue to take this. I don't know that I want to come back either - Whose to say it won't happen again - at the whim of a moderator who seems to be involved with a certain group and will not fess up to the drama she is helping to perpetuate and create. It is shameful, rude and almost unforgiving - but I know I will forgive. I always do. I will move on and I will live a happy life without Josh Groban or his fanclub in it. I'm sure it will be much more peaceful too.

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