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a lot to think about

vijaykumar's picture
on May 30, 2008 - 9:52am

A lot on my mind right now.

Watching I Love Lucy and full of ham and cheese kolaches, contentment. But thoughts still buzzing around and racing.

Classes start next week. Internship starts Monday. I hope I'll be able to pick up everything quickly and really do well there.

Family problems brought to my attention over and over as people keep calling me to remind me. Isn't that the point of moving away and starting over? To crawl and pull yourself out of the muck of catastrophe that consumes those that stayed behind?

And for the three years I've been at school, I've had lots of decisions to make, but I breezed through them all. Now I'm at a crossroad where finding the answer is more difficult. I'm too young to even be thinking about marriage, but how do you tell that to someone who wants to marry you? I've been with him for two and a half years, and I love him, I can't imagine life without him, he's my best friend. So how do I tell him that I don't think he's the one, how do I tell him that the reason I'm going to grad school is to get out of town and find myself and I don't want him to come along? He keeps dropping hints about diamonds and love forever, so how can I have this talk with him without hurting him, without losing him as my best friend?

Enough of the depressing thoughts. I finished my book summary, and I actually got through an entire character sketch. For as many book ideas as I've had, this is the first that I've been able to whip my butt into shape and actually expand on it. Hopefully, I'll actually motivate myself enough to gasp -- FINISH it!

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