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life of crap

jlbrown3711's picture
on May 30, 2008 - 5:08pm

Ever have those days where you just want to keep asking why me? I am sure it happens to everybody, but lately I seem to be asking alot of that of myself. I have found myself in such a depressing mood these days and am fighting like hell to get out of it. Mainly because my best friend and I have so little time to talk to each other and I feel so at a loss when we aren't goofing around together on the Im. I knew long distance relationships were hard, but now I finally realize how hard they truly are. I can even certainly understand why most do not work out. I am trying hard to keep my faith and hope that I can get through this, but some days doubts manage to creep through my mind. Its those days where the majority of my day is spent in tears of sadness. But, I am trying to stay positive about it all.I am not sure where it will lead me, but I suppose if I didn't try to find out, I may regret it someday. But even trying to keep strong about this, it still hurts like hell.

The emotions of this week have really taken a toll on me. I went to my daughters recital last night and had a difficult time being out. I don't know, lately all it seems I want to do is just be a recluse in my own apartment. I really don't have much of a life other than going to work and coming home. But I managed to sit through what seemed like an eternity at the concert. I am very proud of my daughter and her flute. I am also very proud that she enjoys music as much as she does. I do wish more kids would find the beauty in learning to play an instrument. I wish I had more patients as a kid when I tried to. I have to admit, the high school band sounded absolutely amazing as well.I am glad I was there for her in her moment. But I tell ya, being there with a 5 year old boy wasn't easy. Kids that little can't seem to keep their butt still long enough. He kept getting on my lap and looking down my shirt. God, do guys start that early checking girls out? Yes kevin, mommy has boobs....get over it. If that wasn't enough, he kept making faces at his big sister as she was on stage. He didn't mean anything, he was just trying to keep himself occupied. I had my hands full last night and it wouldn't stop just there. By the time the last song was played, I was ready to leave.

I got back to my apartment expecting to relax and have a quiet evening. Yeah, right. What was I thinking? Kids were OK, but I did find myself having to become plumber for an evening. The problem with apartment bathrooms is that toilets can be very sensitive. The slightest amount of anything can cause a major back up. I am sure you can tell whats coming by now. LOL. Anyway, knowing kids the way I do and the amount of paper they tend to use, its no wonder backups are common. But the bad part that happened was really my fault. When I left my old house to move here, I neglected to bring my old plunger or toilet brush. Somehow, just packing it was gross and told myself I would buy a new one. Well........................ I never gotten to that yet. I found myself having to some how fix the toilet without a plunger or toilet bowl brush. I looked around for something to use and couldn't find anything. I tried flushing a few times to see maybe it would loosen up that way, but all that did was make a god awful mess on the bath room floor. Yuck! SO I did the unthinkable. I figured I have had 3 kids, changed many diapers, been pooped on, peed on, spit up upon..I pretty much had any type of bodily fluid on me you can think of, so I did what I had to do. I stuck my hand down into the toilet and unclogged it with nothing but my hand. It wasn't one of my finer moments, but I at least made sure the kids had a potty to use last night. SO, after I did that, I spent the next hour scrubbing, and cleaning the floors, and my hands as much as I could. Today I am doing laundry from all the towels I used. Man, a moms job is never done. All I wanted to do is friggin relax! I have learned quite a lesson here. Never put off buying something you KNOW you might need at any given moment.I suppose by admitting this that no one will ever want to shake my hand again...LOLOL... Don't worry people, I did sanitize after I cleaned it really good. But hey, S**T happens.I am just happy I had short finger nails at the time!

So as you can tell, I had a lot of crap to deal with. But that is what its like when you live alone with 3 kids. Its always an adventure.

My tip for today.....well, I think you all can guess. The plunger, never be at home with out it!

Take care,

You are loved

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