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Still afternoon

jlbrown3711's picture
on June 29, 2008 - 7:37pm

Still afternoon"

It is such a still afternoon indeed. I haven't had much strength to do anything as late night schedules tend to tire me out the very next day. SO, I sit in my bedroom, laying on my bed thinking, just thinking of things I want to say, blog, or just want to feel. But when that happens,my mind gets so deep into thought that I get anxious. SO been surfing the web as I like to do to keep my imaginative side flowing, but some days it still gets me into trouble. Came across something today that made me sad, well, a little embarrassed as well. I won't say what it was that made me sad cause I have solved the feelings since then, but it was an over whelming sadness. At first, I didn't want to even tell my best friend in the whole world. I guess I was afraid of looking bad, or looking like a nut case. My biggest fear was that he would love me less. My first reaction was to keep it in and not say anything. But I got passed that. It took a little while but when I did reach my friend today, I did eventually say why I was sad. I chose to open up simply for the fact that I have watched people in my own family keep things in for years. I have seen what it has done to my own mom at times and it is never a good thing. Even my marriage, I held things back simply in fear of what he would think of me. In the end, all that does is make people grow apart. I can't do that to myself any longer. Its not good for me, my kids, or the love of my life. SO this is why I blog again...... to let it all out as I must do for myself.

AS I surfed today, I also looked onto my sister in laws blog. Its been awhile since I have been there, but it was a pleasant place to revisit. I must say she looks more beautiful than ever, and my one and only nephew is such a doll. He is looking so much like his dad, my brother,every day. She in a way is like me. She loves to blog about life , her family and all sorts of culture. Although she is so much better at it than I am. Such a gifted photographer she is. If I had the camera and time to go to places and explore life's adventures, and then write about it, I would. But then she also lives in Italy, so she has alot of beautiful subjects to photograph. For me, there's only so many cow pictures you can snap a photo off. Anyway, check it out of you can......her work and writing is so lovely.

I will say I have also recently added another blog myself. When I first started writing here, it was intended to be for fun and nothing personal. But it turned out to be so much more for me. I use it now more for just letting out all those feelings that I bottle up inside.

SO I have another place where I am really leaving up to my creative side, although it won't stop me from being creative here. The other blog is more for my art and music side of me that always seem to fill my life.It just seemed so needed to have one just for that. I am trying to leave off the personal stuff off the other one, but as life is, it some times can't be helped. Life and art sometimes go hand and hand. As they say, life imitates art, or was that art imitates life? I get that saying all mixed up.

Well, hope I didn't bore ya all to death. Take care , and enjoy your Sunday Evening.

"The Garden shares

its secrets with

those who come away

into a world where

time is measured not

by clocks but by the

sun's long fingers.

Where one petal is a

universe, and cares

that lie beyond the gate

are swept away on the

gentle evening breeze."

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