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Annoyances of brain chemistry

vijaykumar's picture
on August 24, 2008 - 6:52pm

For the past ten or so minutes, I've been sitting here, listening to Josh on my itunes, my mind not going in any particular direction. Just zoning out and absorbing the music, when a sense of heaviness enveloped me and the sudden thought of crawling into a little dark hole and ignoring life appeared. This only means one thing.....

Depression has set in and my body is kicking my butt for not taking my meds. Then again, it is Sunday, and I tend to be extra moody on Sundays.

Depression is something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. My parents claim that it started when I was about eight. It wasn't until late in my Senior year of high school that my parents forced me to a shrink and got me started on meds. They worked and I got better until my relationship with my EX which I won't delve into....but I've basically struggled to take meds since then for a number of reasons like thinking I'm getting better, I run out, I just don't want to take them, and the biggest one is that I just forget.

It's only times like right now when I consciously realized that I have slipped back into depression that I work to resolve to be better at keeping myself from that little dark place. It really sucks there and does no one any good.

So, things to do to keep depression at bay...

*Swim! It's my cure for everything....
*Take my meds.
*NO brooding. I have a bad habit of brooding on small little details that have made me upset.
*Take my meds.
*Keep my head busy. If my head is busy, then I can't brood.
*Go to Utah to see my boyfriend.

That should do it....I hope.

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