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Unsure

vijaykumar's picture
on December 11, 2008 - 1:47pm

Okay, I just sat down to write a little more of my journal and already I can hear my 8 year old son and 11 year old daughter upstairs fighting....is there ever any peace and quiet for the weary? :<

Anyways, my husband and I were going to go to the counselor tomorrow but this morning he says he has a deadline he absolutely needs to get done.
Oh well, I guess the counselor will just have to do meditative work with me AGAIN just to help me with everything.

Sounds like a pattern doesn't it? Well,it is but I can't expect him to change overnight but he did say he will definitely start going with me again for the next session which will be in two weeks.

I went to the doctor today and I'm going back to work next Tuesday. If I'm ready to go back why do I feel fear when I just think about it? Well, for one thing I don't like my job. Pushing papers and analyzing doctor's documents is not what I call a rewarding job. Ever see that movie Office Space? Will I feel just like the main character about my job and I just might be going off my rocker like he did too. The other characters are so similar to my co-workers it's almost scary. We have the butt-kissers that get away with murder, the slightly insane which you have to give them there own space, and the boss who most are afraid of but mostly hate because she'll embarrass you and make you feel incompetent in front of other people any chance she gets!

Yep, my life is one big bad movie but with sweet things in between like my kids (when they're not fighting)and a sister and friends who care.

I'm getting better; the sadness isn't as overwhelming anymore and I can see a clearing in the clouds from a distance.

At least I can see it now....

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