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The Music

WriterLady's picture
on February 16, 2011 - 11:18am

Today, I got tickets to see Josh Groban in Dallas. They're pretty damn good tickets, too - fourth row floor seat, so close to the stage that I should be able to see pretty much everything. They cost a whole friggin' lot of money, I won't lie. I feel, though, that it is worth it. I know we are all here for the same reasons - the love of the voice, even the love of the Man himself, and that many would consider it worth the money to be so close. In my particular case, it's the fact that the music has had a profound effect on my life - possibly even on my identity in some way, though that might be melodramatic.

2001 was the year that I discovered Josh Groban. I might have had some sort of passing awareness of him before that, but if I did I don't remember it. In 1999, I was one of the student medics on the scene when the Texas A&M Bonfire collapsed. I am not going to use this as a place to talk about that, but suffice to say that I and the rest of my friends were screwed up to the extreme by the experience. We were only college kids, after all, and though we were trained and certified as EMTs and paramedics, none of us had ever seen anything like that before...I would imagine that some seasoned veterans of the field haven't either. Yeah...we were screwed up, PTSS and all that. I don't really want to think about that anymore, so we'll just skip the rest of my university career.

I graduated a year and a half later, engaged to the man that is still my husband now, and couldn't feel anything, not really. I looked at the world through...well, maybe shaded eyes is the easiest way to describe it. It wasn't that I was sad all the time - I wasn't. But there was a strange sort of distance from everything that I couldn't seem to erase, even from my family and my husband-to-be. When I heard Josh's music that night in the winter of 2001, he was singing for some sort of program on TV. That was my breakthrough moment...I started to feel, really feel things again. I bought the CD, and the songs and the voice guided me through a recovery that I still don't really understand. Through that music, I learned how to be a real person again, instead of like the machine I had felt like since November 18, 1999.

I listen to other things, of course...lots of other things, and sometimes I might go weeks or even months before I listen to Josh's music on a regular basis again. In times of trial or stress or depression, though, the music lifts me up.

Awake was released while I was late in the pregnancy with my now three-year-old daughter...and the pregnancy was hard. Not tragic, mind you, but there was much fear and stress to bear, both before and immediately after her. I turned to the voice again for comfort, and my daughter was born with an innate love for Josh Groban that continues to this day, as we dance around the kitchen to his music while I work on dinner and she "helps".

Now, to get to see the person who has really made such a profound impact on my life...it's amazing to me, just amazing. I wish I could somehow thank him for his music, but maybe the best way to do that is the way I'm going to...by going to AAC on 5/16 and giving him the accolade he deserves.

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