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Here is some more... Please Give me feedback

vijaykumar's picture
on September 19, 2004 - 4:10pm

Here is some more indeed, but please give me some feedback... where would you like the story to go, I am kinda stumnped and what I am about to put in here is all that I have done, I need idea's for more!!! Here goes....
Oh, and if you wanna see more stories by me and some of my other story writing friends visit grobanfan.proboards31.com
you can put your own stuff on there too... Okay,... Now for more of the story

Melissa pulled out of the driveway and headed in a random direction. She had no clue where she was going, but she figured that she was going to drive until she either ran out of gas or was too tired to drive any further. As Melissa pulled out onto the expressway, her cell phone rung, Melissa answered it through tears,” Hello?”
“Melissa, honey, what’s wrong? Come home please, we can talk.”
“No, just leave me alone, call your dad and have him take care of you. I will come back eventually.”
“Melissa, come on, come home, Talk to me, honey.”
“DON’T call me that you murderer, just let me be, I need time alone,” Melissa said then hung up the phone and off the nearest exit, on her way to the prison. She wanted to see her dad, she didn’t care what the outcome was, and she just needed to see a family member.

Melissa drove up to the visitor entrance of the prison and was stopped by a guard,” Who are you here to see?”
Melissa sat for a second in thought then said,” Mr. Rob Carson.”
“And who would you be?”
“I am Melissa Carson- Wyatt”
“Head on in.”
“Thank You,” Melissa said as the guard opened the gate and drove in, found a parking space, and went into the building where she was promptly escorted to a booth to wait for her father.
A few minutes later he came in, said down and just stared at Melissa as they both held the phone to their ear.
“You got married?” Rob finally asked after a minute of silence.
“Yeah, and I think that it was a stupid idea.”
“Why?”
“He killed mom, and my best friend, I didn’t really think about it until recently.”
“Melissa, no matter how mad I was mad at him after the accident, the time here made me think. He is a good kid, it was truly an accident, and Melissa, I am sorry for the things I did to you.”
“Thank you, Dad. I did something stupid today.”
“What is that honey?”
“I ran away from home and called Malcolm a murderer.”
“Go back to your house, talk to him, and fix the problems. Have you seen Mindy recently?
“Yesterday at the hospital, her brother was in for something. She said she was done with you.”
“Why were you at the hospital?”
“Malcolm had to have an appendectomy.”
“Oh my… Honey, that is even more of a reason to go home, you need to take care of your husband, and talk to him about what is going on.”
“That is sort of what Kimmie said.”
“You still talk to Kimmie? Have you seen her since camp?”
“Yeah… She was at the funeral and when Malcolm and I were on our honeymoon.”
“When did you get back?”
“The day before yesterday, wow, life has been so hectic that I forgot about it.”
A guard then came up to them,” Sorry, but your time has expires, say your goodbyes.”
“I’ll see you later Honey.”
“Bye dad, I will come by again soon… thank you,” Melissa said then the two hung up their phones and departed.
Melissa headed back to her car and headed out to the highway, where she called Malcolm.
After a few rings, Malcolm sleepily picked up,” Hello?”
“Malcolm? It’s me, can I still come home?”
“Of course, whenever you are ready, I’ll be here and can you get my meds for me?”
“Sure, I’ll be home eventually.”
“Take your time, my dad is here, as a matter of fact, I will have him go out and get my meds.”
“Okay, then since it is getting late, don’t wait up for me.”
“It’s only six.”
“AND I will be home fairly late because of where I am-,” Melissa’s phone cut out because of a low signal.
“Figures,” Melissa muttered to herself as she drove in a direction leading away from home on the highway. Melissa turned off her phone and cranked up the radio and softly began singing along with it.
“Oo, oo, oo, remember when it rained, I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name, Oo, oo, oo, remember when it rained, in the darkness I remain,” was the words that were pouring out of Melissa’s mouth as she pulled off the nearest exit and into a gas station. Melissa turned off her car and began to fill up her car.
Melissa flipped through her empty wallet and pulled out a credit card,” Luckily I have the credit card,” Melissa thought to herself as she finished filling the tank and was approached by a young man, around her age.
“Hello, I was just wondering what a pretty, young lady like you is doing out this late?” The young man said as he followed Melissa into the gas station.
“It’s only nine how late is that?” Melissa checked out and headed back to her car.
“There are curfews around here, you know?”
“And I am 18, and am headed back home to my husband… whom I love and miss very much.”
“Oh… married… sorry to bother you then,” The man said then left. Melissa got back into her car and headed home, very anxious to apologize to Malcolm

Melissa returned home about four hours later. She parked the car in the garage and quietly walked into the house. Since it was around one, Melissa slowly went around, shutting off the lights. When Melissa entered the living room she was immediately confronted by her father in law.
“Where did you go?” Rev. Wyatt asked as he got up from the couch.
“I drove… I drove for four hours, till I decided to turn around and come back. I also stopped by the prison.”
“Why?”
“To mend things with my father, should I not have?”
“Melissa, that was an excellent idea, how is he?”
“Better than he was, he seemed really sorry for what he said. He seems to be taking things better than I have.”
“Melissa, what’s going on?”
“Can I tell you tomorrow, I’ll come to the church, maybe you can help me figure some stuff out.”
“I would be more than glad to help you with anything. I should go, I did pick up Malcolm medications, they are on the kitchen counter, and last time I checked he was out cold. Both Courtney and Chris called, and there are 3 messages on the answering machine. A package arrived and it is on the chair in the kitchen. Malcolm misses you and is very worried about you, so you may want to go upstairs and tell him that you are home.”
“Thank you so much,” Melissa walked over and hugged Rev. Wyatt.
“Don’t worry about it, I will see you tomorrow,” Rev. Wyatt said then left.
Melissa leisurely made her way up to the bedroom and changed then crawled into bed. Malcolm gradually woke up and wrapped his arms around Melissa and kissed her on the forehead.
“I missed you.”
“Mmkay,” Melissa responded as she closed her eyes.
“I love you- will you tell me what is wrong in the morning?”
“Maybe, good night,” Melissa snapped back then turned her back to Malcolm and went to sleep.

The next morning, Malcolm woke Melissa up around eleven with a kiss.
“Malcolm?” Melissa said as she cracked her eyes open.
“Yes, Baby?” Malcolm said and sat on the edge of the bed.
“How hard did you try to stop the car?”
“Oh, baby, I tried harder than you would ever believe.”
Melissa began to cry,” I miss my mom, Malcolm, I really do.”
Malcolm pulled Melissa close to him and hugged her and let her cry,” I know.”

Malcolm held Melissa for awhile before he finally said,” Honey, come downstairs, and eat something.”
Melissa backed of, wiped her eyes and shook her head in agreement as Malcolm helped her off the bed and downstairs.
“How are you feeling, did you take your meds?”
“I’m feeling great, and yes I did take my meds. What happened yesterday?”
Malcolm sat Melissa down and set his hands on her shoulders,” Tell me please baby.”
Tears fell down Melissa’s cheeks as she whispered,” The accident… my mom… Leslie… why?”
Malcolm hugged Melissa and replied,” I really can’t tell you why. What brought up the accident baby?”
“When you were in the hospital, I just… everything came back to me, I’m sorry for everything I said.”
Malcolm kissed Melissa on the forehead and backed off, resting on the back of his chair,” It’ll be fine, do you have anything planned for today?”
“I promised your dad that I would go and talk to him. Hey Malcolm?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Do you remember any of the accident?”
“Yes, too much of it. Are you hungry?”
“A little… Malcolm what do you remember?”
Malcolm looked at the floor then began,” I was driving home from a small one time job and I was heading towards that intersection, there didn’t seem to be any ice, but just to be cautious, I started to stop early. The breaks didn’t catch as I got towards the intersection and saw the car you were in,” Malcolm stopped then swallowed and continued,” I tried to swerve my car out of the way. I tried to avoid your car but… it hit. I blacked out, the next thing I remember was I was lying on the ground and there were paramedics around me, I blacked out again and woke up it the hospital, the first thing they told me was about what had happened to your mom and frie..” Malcolm’s voice faded off as tears streamed down both of their faces.
“You tried, that’s what counts, right? I love you Malcolm Wyatt, I really do.”
“I love you too,” Malcolm said then kissed Melissa,” Melissa tell me what you remember, please?”
“I was coming home with my mom and Leslie, from the musical practice, Leslie was going to sleep over. We had the Christmas radio station on and we were singing along when we got into the intersection- Malcolm all I remember was the two cars colliding, and then I remember laying with bloody snow around me. I think that I had been thrown from the car even though I had my seat belt on. I heard my mom call my name, then I remember catching sight of her eyes and I heard her said,” I love you,” and…” Tears started pouring down her cheeks,” And then everything went black and the next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital, connected to tubes…”
Malcolm got up and hugged Melissa,” I and so sorry.” Melissa hugged Malcolm back and cried.
A little while later, Melissa backed off and dried the tears off of her face and then said in a raspy voice,” I figured out why I married you.”
“You did?” Malcolm replied as he sat back down in his chair.
“I married you because I have this feeling in my heart, and I have never been afraid to tell you anything, and you love me.”
“I do, you’re right. Is there anything else that you need help figuring out?”
“Nope, how are you feeling today, Malcolm?”
“I am feeling great; it just hurts me to see you hurting.”
“Do you want to go out for lunch?”
“How about I fix something up here, you go and change and that stuff?”
“Okay, I love you,” Melissa said as she stood up, kissed Malcolm on the cheek and then headed into their bedroom.

Before Melissa got into the shower, she picked up the phone and called her father-in-law.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s Melissa.”
“Hello, Melissa, are you still coming by later today?”
“Um… Malcolm and I worked everything out, I was having trouble with my mom’s death and Malcolm helped me figure things out…”
“I’m glad, well, in that case, if you need anything, I am here.”
“Thank you.”
“Melissa, would you mind singing in place of the choir on Saturday?”
“Of course not, what songs?”
“I’ll bring them by tomorrow.”
“Okay… I should go now.”
“Alright, goodbye.”
“Bye,” Melissa said then hung up the phone.
The rest of the say went by slowly; both Malcolm and Melissa fell asleep on the couch together.

(HEHE Now I can go eat Taco's!!!!)

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