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Less 10!!!

on January 14, 2008 - 10:48pm

Today was weigh-in time for the end of week 2/beginning of week 3 of my new self! Well, just less of and more improved me, I guess I should say! I have cut out junk food from my diet, and begun exercising--going strong going into my 3rd week--and I've already lost 10 pounds and my clothes are getting a little loose! YAY!!! Even though I had begun just after the first of the year, and I kinda have a "head start", I signed the Oprah/Bob Greene 'Best Life' contract today, too. I do live in Mississippi, after all, so I figured I'd help lower that "fattest state" status this year! hehehe

I also have been working on organizing STUFF in my house. Why do we have so much STUFF anyway??? I get so frustrated at myself! I seem to save every single tiny piece of paper that "might" be needed some day. WHY??? I do this every year getting ready for tax time, and every year it's the same. Piles and piles of receipts and papers that I have no idea if I'll ever need them or not...but "just in case"...filed again! Sheesh. Clue to the companies that mail these statements, etc. to me. SAVE A TREE! And to the tax people that will probably come audit me now that I've said that...please...I have nothing in the first place! It's quite obvious I'm not doing anything fraudulent or dishonest! I wouldn't know how!

I sure am missin' Josh...or at least the prospect or slightest hope of a concert anytime soon. Sure do wish it weren't quite so far to South Africa! Or London...or...wherever he just might turn up. Come to think of it...I'm pretty far from just about everywhere but Memphis...

Well...I've rambled long enough...well, just long enough to cool off from my workout...gotta go shower now...yeah...I'll probably ramble to myself in there, too! (I'm not much of a singer! Although my 3 year old did say I "sounded like her" in reference to Sara Evans the other day...yeah...looking into the hearing tests now! LOL)

Love ya everyone! I'm done for tonight! Sweet dreams...

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I feel pretty good...

on January 10, 2008 - 8:02am spite of many unnerving circumstances in my life. It's not like it's anything new--certain family members of mine who have basically "excommunicated" me, my family (including my kids!), and some (actually, most) of my close, extended family. And what really kicks it is that they didn't even attempt to talk to any of us about our so-called offense until after they issued their "cut-off" from us! I don't understand it at all, and these people have been constants in my life since I was so young--a baby--and one in particular was my very best friend/cousin. She could finish my THOUGHTS, not just my sentences! She listened and helped as best as she could through my parents' divorce. She's the one who introduced me to Josh's music...I met some of my dearest friends through her--in fact, she's how I met Craig! I visited her/her family on a fall break my first year of college (I met Craig the first time then, but he doesn't remember!) and then again 3 1/2 years later...the rest is history. We've been married for going on 11 years. I helped her through some of the worst parts of her life, and cheered her on through the best times as well. Please. Anyone. TELL ME HOW CAN SOMEONE JUST THROW THAT TO THE WIND????? It's just shy of a year since I've heard from her...she made it plain (although not to me--I had to hear it through someone else) that she had no intention of talking to me. It makes no sense. And, I guess I wrote all of that just to get it off my chest. I guess since I missed her terribly through the holidays, the whole situation's been eating at my brain and my heart...which remains broken over the whole thing.

HOWEVER, I press busy as I've been being sure everyone else is taken care of (as I still do), I am really focusing on myself and my health. I'm paying attention to what I'm eating and exercising every day. I have already lost (AT LEAST) 8 pounds. Only about 37-40 more to go! I'm not really set on an exact weight because I want to stop losing when I look and feel the healthiest. However, I do have a goal to be able to fit into my wedding dress again! And I intend to let nothing short of hospitilization keep me from my goal! Let's all hope I don't have to worry about that!

I love that I feel so close to my husband and that I know he will always be my best friend. Craig is such an amazing man and he always makes me feel like I can do anything. He always encourages me and supports me in anything I want to do. He let's me know that I'm doing a good job as a mom and that he's proud I'm his wife. Yes, there are "down times" for us just like with anyone. But honestly, though I do complain or get aggrivated sometimes, I truly have nothing to complain about.

I'm looking forward to this weekend as I reach the end of week 1 of my exercise goal. I plan to start working on one of the things I've always wanted to learn--I'm going to teach myself to crochet! Or at least try! I can't wait! Just a small reward for my effort!

I realize my posts are often way too long. I'm sure most people get bored before they even read halfway through. But I really appreciate having this outlet for my thoughts. Besides prayer, this way just helps to feel "heard" in some way...even when I'm not very eloquent in my words...

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I love the holidays

on December 29, 2007 - 12:02pm

I love being able to spend time with my family during the holidays! It's been really hectic--we've travelled a lot--but when it comes down to it, I love to travel! I have also loved so much giving and getting the Christmas/holiday cards with my fellow FOJG members. It not only is exciting to see where they all come from and to see how many come in the mail each day, but also just to have that common bond of "Josh" during the holidays when you KNOW family members just don't understand! LOL

We spent the week (including Christmas day--Santa came, too!) in the Smoky Mountains in a cabin with 9 other family members (3 other families). The only drawback--not enough time. It was pouring when we left, but would have been so nice just to curl up with a good book instead! It's funny...I thought I'd relax on this trip...didn't actually happen. I'm trying to think how I can repay myself for continually working the whole time I've been gone! Is that bad? I sure hope not. At some point I need renewal! When we first rented the cabin (LAST JANUARY!) I had had enough of the holiday runnin' around to everyone's houses and trying to please in-laws, out-laws, step family, and extended family...I had visions of being snowed in by a cozy fire, reading books, and playing non-electronic games. I guess someday maybe I'll get that wish; just wasn't the year this year!

As I reflect on this past year--going into yet another new year, I do realize a lot of turmoil and pain. But it's funny that what is so apparent and what really comes into focus is the growth that comes from the everyday living THROUGH the struggles. I am so much more happy with my own growth than I could imagine. I'm proud of my kids' growth. I'm still working on Craig's. HAHAHA kidding. He's really standing tall, too!

What I really wish for in the new year is 1. organization to the extent of a simpler lifestyle at home, 2. more control over and concern with my overall health--and action on my part to bring that about, 3. more time to read, 4. to learn to knit and crochet (that's one of those things that's been on my list for way too long--need to get it done now!), 5. and I'd like to continue to build my sewing business even more...

There's so much more, but the sales are calling and Craig's ready to go! I'll have to try to log on later to finish my thoughts...right now I've got to take advantage of the shopping time! YAY!

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on November 25, 2007 - 6:52am

LOL! I never know what to put in the "Title" of these entries...

Well, we're back home! Now, on to the next holiday adventure! haha Seriously, though, hoping to finish all the organizing I started around here before we left for Thanksgiving, and get it all done before December gets here...that way, all I have to do during the month of Christmas is to ENJOY IT!!! What would that be like??? I don't really know, considering that I've never been able to just enjoy the holidays...somehow in years past, at least one disgruntled family member would whine or gripe about where/when/how we were going to celebrate with family. brother and sister and I decided that since we're grown-ups now (ha--no goofy remarks here!) we would just take over the reins and plan Christmas ourselves. Well, we tried it last year--had it here at my house--and although it went fine, it still had it's glitches with griping people. SOOO...this year we decided we were going to rent a cabin in the mountains, invite THE WHOLE FAMILY--ALL of each of our in-laws, step-family, and extended family--and have everyone in one place to (wishfully thinking) alleviate some of the stress of travelling 100 different places in 2 days. Well, guess what? Yep. The ones who usually complain..........aren't going! It amazes me sometimes how miserable people just heap to themselves more misery; but they chose to be alone for Christmas instead of enjoying a big celebration of family, friends, and love. OH WELL. Yes, it will be kinda sad that they won't be there, but the rest of us are looking so forward to a cozy, old-fashioned, "Christmas-by-the-fire" kind of holiday that we really haven't---for the first time ever---been adversely affected by the others' rude comments.

By the way...speaking of comments...was it just me or did Josh seem more "just business" in his last clip on the boards? It's really sad to me that it seems he's having to distance himself from his fans more and more. He's always been such a humble, "guy-next-door" person that it pains me to see the obvious distancing. Guess it was bound to happen...

Well, gotta go get ready for church...I'll have to check back later...

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It's About Time!!!! and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

on November 19, 2007 - 12:01pm

Well, I think it's been a whole month since I've been able to sit down and post here...I've really missed it, too...just seems like everything snowballed at once and I never could get to just sit down at the computer! Even my personal e-mail account is soooo far behind on my checking it, that I'm not sure I'll ever get caught up. I've thought about everyone here, and wondered how everyone is--I've kept everyone in my prayers that everything is okay and well with them.

I don't even know where I left off with my life in my postings! I know at the time I had not sold any of my hand-sewn dresses (still haven't), but have since had some orders for other things like halloween costumes (along with my own kids' costumes) and curtains (again, along with curtains for one of my daughter's rooms...). I've been so busy, too, sorting through, straightening up, and purging junk through my whole house--even had Craig help to sort through and re-organize the attic. And, I might add, that he had already been doing a fine job keeping it in such good shape that we didn't have to work to hard at it, and even already had time to put up the Christmas tree before I left town. I'm now in Nashville, at my mom's, for a few days of rest(?) with my girls working in mom's store since they're out of school this week. We'll pick up Craig and go on down to my brother's later in the week for 'turkey day'. We planned months ago to head south for Thanksgiving since Craig had to work the whole first part of the isn't very far to go to my brother's, so it makes for a nice long-weekend type trip. Well, I got a phone call yesterday morning that my great-grandmother had been in intensive care and wasn't doing well...I then got another call shortly after, and was told she had passed away. I feel so bad because I can't go to Michigan to be with my dad's side of the family during this time. Plus, it's worse because she had been a victim of elder abuse and identity theft by my great-aunt--her own daughter! So, in all actuality, we had mourned for losing her 3 years ago when the crooked lawyers ruled that we could only talk through them to her! My dad was practically raised by my great-grandmother; he, too, mourned for losing her 3 years ago, but I know he isn't doing well at all with it. I feel helpless. It just isn't feasible for me to take off to Michigan when my husband has to work and my kids are on break--a funeral isn't where they want to go when they've been counting on seeing their cousins! Is this part of what it means to be in the "sandwich generation"???

On a happier note, one of our very best and closest friends called the other night. It's been a while and several unsettling events since we've been able to 'connect' with him. Craig had been able to talk to him a few times, but it had been months since I had. This friend is like a part of our family. So, to be reunited, in a way, with him really put a small portion of peace back into my life! He (and us, too)had been sort of "caught in the crossfire" of a family feud (our families have known each other for years)and a strain had been put on our some of my family members that (once were my closest friends, too--one who is the cousin who introduced me to Josh's music)have decided to just "write us off". As long as I live, I will NEVER understand how you just write off someone so close...nor do I think I'll ever recover all the pieces of my broken heart from it. It's a long, sordid story, so I'll stop at that. I don't want to dwell on it, anyway! this point in time, I'm working on nurturing my little family of 5, my relationship with my husband, and my relationship with God. I know with Him all things are possible. And He won't betray or leave me.

Oh...and also during this past month, my oldest daughter turned 8. She had been sharing a room with her two younger sisters all this time, but had been asking for her own room for over a year. Last Saturday, Craig took her to a football game (she and her daddy are big Alabama fans) and while they were gone, my grandmother and mother-in-law, and yes, my 2 younger daughters (ages 5 and 3) re-did (is that a word? doubtful!) what was the playroom into a room for Riley. She's a big Hannah Montana fan--I had tried to get tickets to a concert for her birthday and couldn't--and mentioned on several occasions wanting that to be the theme of her room if she ever got one of her own. Well, being both a mom, and formerly working as an interior designer, I didn't want to do her room in something that she would grow tired of in less than a year! So, I made HER the "rock star"...I painted the walls aqua, trimmed in purple...bought a reversible aqua polka-dotted nad purple comforter, a purple sequined throw pillow, made some dark purple bolster pillows, bought a dark purple shag rug, and one Hannah Montana aqua/purple throw pillow. My 5-year-old had the idea to make her closet like "backstage", so we painted it lavender and put a big purple star on the door with Riley's name on it. I also cut out purple-glitter-felt letters that spelled out her name and stuck them on some built-in cabinet doors, making it look like the stage--kinda like her name is in lights! I made a purple-on-purple zebra-striped bedskirt and some sheer aqua/glittery curtains trimmed in the same zebra print as the bedskirt. [She has some other Hannah Montana accessories, too. However, since she's the real "star of the show", I bought some tie-dyed felt in purple and aqua that we're going to cut out her hand prints from and stick on a big purple felt star to hang with her name on the cabinets--kinda looking like she's noted on the Hollywood walk of fame! I also have a desk chair still to re-upholster for her, as well as an idea for her very own 'art gallery' where she can hang her many art creations from school...] Needless to say, when she got home from the game, she was totally blown away! She isn't usually a very emotional girl, but this time--after the total shock wore off--she was shedding happy tears and thanking me for all my hard work. THAT, my friends, is definitely in the books as one of my "most proudest" moments in my life!

Okay, so now that I've taken up all this time and space, I'm going in the other room to play a game with Riley. When I post next time, I'll let ya'll know if I truly am smarter than a 5th grader! hahaha

Ooooohh--and one more thing--Riley's friend that has cancer was able to be at her birthday party the other night. Although she is still struggling through treatments, and still has a lot more to go, she was feeling good enough at my house to be turning cartwheels!!! Even her mama was amazed! Just thought I'd give that little update, too!




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