Skip directly to content

1eclaire's blog

1eclaire's picture

Confused

on October 24, 2007 - 4:27pm

People are annoying me today. For some reason they prefer to assume you're out to get them, and they get upset, with out taking time to consider what you're saying. They don't even READ what you have to say, but rather assume you're against them and they need to be offended.

Jack just confuses me. He had his mom, of all people, bring my jacket over! She left on my doorknob this afternoon. Why? He was going to "swing by after church" today. I changed plans accordingly, and now missed dinner with another friend and getting to see him again.

I don't know when or even if I'll see him again. I texted him to thank him for my jacket, so he knows I got it, and to tell tell him I had fun Sunday night.

I just don't know what the right thing to do is anymore. I thought I should text him, like I said, but past experience says anytime I'm so much as in the same room as a guy they think I'm flirting, so I'm sure he'll think I'm coming on to him. But doesn't he have the right to know I got it? He did text me after she dropped it off and then call me to ask if I got it.

That's why I'm confused. Between some of the things he did at the party Sunday, and since he bothered to call and text me tonight, he acts like he cares about me. So why would he have his Mom drop off my jacket? Why wouldn't he want to see me again?

At work every one is annoying me so much that I've decided to not care if I'm rude. I try to be nice but certain people push my buttons repeatedly and I have no problems being quick with them. All day I have the same conversation with everyone: They say they need a chart, I tell them to look on the cart, they say again they need the chart (with out looking!), I repeat to look on the cart, they say it a third time, still not looking, so I say, "If it's not on the cart I can't help you." If someone says to look on a cart, why can't they turn around and look on the cart? Are they really that lazy? Do they think I'm going to stop what I'm doing and look for them? Argh!

Journal
1eclaire's picture

waltzes and walnuts

on October 22, 2007 - 3:10pm

Don't have anything to say about walnuts, just wanted some alliteration, so if you're here for the nuts, well... it comes in the form of me and not a food. haha :P

The dance party last night was incredible! I thought of you all during this one special part: when I met this guy for the first time last week, I told him I love Josh's music. At the party, I was sitting in my chair waiting for the next dance, when I heard some very familiar notes. Then I heard Josh's voice! It was Si Volvieras a Mi! I ran over to the guy, where he was playing the music on the computer. I said, "Josh Groban!" He held out his hand and asked, "Would you like to dance?" I said an enthusiastic yes, and we waltzed the song away... Happy times.

My other favorite moment was in the beginning of the night. One of his brothers asked me to dance, and I said yes, so he took my left hand. (this is hard with out names so I'll call my new dancing friend Jack) Jack came over and took my right hand, like he was going to dance with me. His brother dropped my hand and exclaimed, "Hey! I was going to dance with her!" Jack said, "No I'm going to dance with her. You go dance with... Sarah!" He pointed to "Sarah." I didn't know what to do so I just stood there. I had agreed to dance with the first guy so it seemed wrong to go back on my word, but Jack was to busy ordering his brother around to bother giving me a choice (and that's not very nice, IMO).

Jack's friend "Joe" and I danced most of the time. He was really good and i had a great time with him. After each dance he would thank me! It wasn't a trite "thank you" either, but an honest "thank you" that implied he enjoyed himself. Since I have a little dance experience, esp. with swing, he taught me fancier moves than every one else was learning. So much fun!

This one time Jack asked me to dance but he had to start the music from his computer. When he asked me to dance he offered his hand, and I accepted both. He led me over to the computer and was messing with it to start the music, all the while holding my hand! Later I noticed he asked another girl, and she followed him to the computer, but they weren't holding hands.

I left my jacket at Jack's house. He said he'd bring it by my house today. I told him anytime after 4:30. He has a Bible study at 7 and it's 6 now. Anyway, getting my jacket back is a good excuse to keep talking to him. I hope he calls soon. I'm too excited to sleep as it is, and now I'll be up wondering when I'll see him again (and get my jacket!)

Journal
1eclaire's picture

Crappy work!

on October 17, 2007 - 4:49pm

What a crappy day at work! My boss made me cry twice, and a lady in medical records I almost had to strangle. I actually got yelled at for not telling him that my coworker wasn't working! I'm not in a managerial position so it's not my responsibility if she works or not. I can ask her to help me but then it's up to her. She never helped so I kept telling my boss and he kept yelling at me for not telling him sooner and insisted that I continue giving her my work! Finally I gave up on her altogether. She was complaining that my work wasn't her job, and would do nothing no matter what I said or did. So every day I'd tell the boss I gave her work and she wasn't doing it, and every day my boss told me to go make her do it. You can lead a horse to water...

Then the lady in medical records, who knows NOTHING about my job, informed me that I was not doing my job properly and why couldn't I do it the right way? I said calmly that I'm dealing with too many doctors to do things the way she asked and it's just not conceivable. When I get the 2 other people to help me my boss keeps promising, perhaps I can do it her way.

Oh I'd cried after my boss yelled at me (which he did in front of 2 coworkers!). One of the two who were in his office and heard him said she was furious and that what he'd said was uncalled for. She said I should email his boss. (which I'd do but my boss reads my email!!) After the medical records lady I decided it was time for lunch. The minute I got back my boss got mad at me for not telling him that I couldn't put one of the doctor's audio devices in its charger. The doctor had complained to him about this, which angers me because I'd told this doctor that I couldn't get it to charge and the doctor didn't say anything. Now, weeks later, he tells my boss, as though I'd said nothing to him? If you have a problem with me, tell me, not someone else! My boss started up on his "you should have told me" spiel, this time adding, "I've told you a million times and you need to come to me with these things." Perhaps I would if he didn't yell at me when I do! He yells at me whether I tell him about things or not, so why not postpone the yelling as much as possible? That made me cry again. A few coworkers talked to me, and everyone says the exact same thing: you can never be right even if in reality you are, because he's always "right."

Ok rant's over now...

Journal
1eclaire's picture

Ballroom Dancing!!

on October 14, 2007 - 8:04pm

I finally found a guy that dances! He's having a dance party at his house next Sunday from 7-10, where he's teaching ballroom dancing, and he invited me! Yay! I'm so excited! I can't wait! Women wear skirts and men wear ties. This is my dream come true :) I really need to sleep so I can get up for work, but I'm too excited... I've been praying to meet a guy like this for so long. Whether we end up as friends or end up dating, I'm so excited to have met a nice guy that dances. Oh and how could I forget, he appreciates Jane Austen? I'm in shock. Pride and Prejudice is his favorite as well. Ah! haha There were four of us, and in the conversation I referred to golf as "flog" and only he understood me. Haha I love that as well. :)

Journal
1eclaire's picture

no title tonight

on October 12, 2007 - 4:45pm

Can't say enough about Noel so I won't, other than best album ever! Christmas is my favorite time of year, and Josh's album does exactly what he set out to to with it. It takes Christmas classics and revamps them, in ways that enhance them while remaing true to the integrity of the original version.

I feel like I'm not making sense tonight so it'll be fun to reread this tomorrow :) I was sick yesterday and didn't sleep much last night. I'm petsitting, and someone left an extremely angry message that scares the heck out of me. Then the dog kept barking, and I was sure the person had indeed showed up for revenge. I'm praying the person doesn't show up here.

Anywho, I do have a lot to be thankful for. I kept thinking about that song at work today, and decided to look beyond myself for once and pay more attention to my coworkers by asking how they're doing and then actually listening. I do care, or else I wouldn't bother to ask, but it is so easy to get wrapped up in the work at hand and ignore everyone around us. So, once again, I found myself inspired by Josh to do something I wouldn't have done.

I told my friend at church the price of tix for Chess and she said she's not sure if she can go because she's hoping to move and she wanted to visit her family in the spring. I'm also saving up for a house, so I understand completely. I've been praying about my finances for the house and trip to London, and today's paycheck was much larger than expected! God's proven himself so many times before, and if it's in his will for me to go to London, then I will.

I really have so much on my mind tonight! The guys at work have been confusing the heck out of me. The one who was supposedly my friend apparently told someone/some people that I "tried to get with" him. He had called me a "good friend" and told me every minute detail of his life, revealing secrets that he didn't want any one to know, so I in turn had friendly conversation with him and answered his life questions. Why is it that a guy can talk to a girl and it mean nothing to him, but he assumes the girl is interested in more than friendship? It's completely unfair! He's the third guy to do this to me. I'm beginning to think I can't be friends with guys, if they're going to assume I'm interested when I'm clearly not.

One of my female coworkers walked down the hall, and a guy commented on how she was flirting! I'm still shocked. I said, "Flirting?" He said, "Yeah, look at how she's walking!" I said, "She walks like that all the time, guys around or not! That's just how she walks!" It proves my point that no matter what you do or don't do, guys are going to assume that you're flirting.

Stepping off the soap box now, I'm going to call a friend about lunch steaks tomorrow. I have to buy, and I'm going with my ex, but he doesn't have a job (just graduated from grad school) so I guess it's okay. I just really want lunch steaks. I'm sure he probably thinks I'm trying to get back with him, but I've given up caring. Guys will think what they want to no matter what, so there's no point in me worrying about it.

Although i just thought of something... maybe guys do that when they are interested in girls. I know I've twisted guys words and actions around when I was interested in them. You see what you want to see, kind of thing. And the light bulb is finally on...

So I still don't know about the other guy at work. I sit happily at my desk and he comes over to visit. The other day his excuse was to find out if I had any birthday cake left, even though he didn't want any. Today he wanted to know why I missed the company picnic yesterday.

But I must go. I'm actually looking forward to watching Twitches 2 and I still have to call my friend about our lunch steaks.

Oyasuminasai!
:)

Journal

Pages

[]