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i.am.erika.'s blog

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Imperfect

on May 12, 2010 - 12:38pm

Dear Josh Journal,

The more God shows me how much He loves me and wants to be my friend and take care of me, the more I am amazed. I know this isn’t the kind of love I deserve but it’s the kind I like. Goodbye fear, hello love and acceptance. I am imperfect. I love a perfect God. Sometimes things get lost in translation. I am learning that I need to keep learning. He’s the constant. I’m the variable. It’s comforting to know I’m holding on to the constant so I don’t get tossed about. There isn’t really anything in the world right now that is trustworthy enough to hold on to. From my experience, there never will be apart from God.

~Erika

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Souls

on March 14, 2010 - 8:22am

Isn’t there something we’re missing? We live in a world of contrast. Love and hate, good and evil, beauty and filth, rich and poor. People say they are searching for truth. I have been asking God to show me the truth about my life. I have shared with you all earlier about how God rescued me from a horribly abusive situation. I lived with my mother who pretended to be a Christian. She was actually a witch. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. She worshiped Satan. This is true. And trust me, there was nothing glamorous, nice, or exciting about it. She tortured and abused all of my siblings. There is nothing cool about witches. Their sole purpose in life is to create problems on this earth. They sell their souls to the devil and go to work trying to hurt people on earth and turn them away from God. Everyone blames God when bad things happen. It’s funny that they don’t ever think to blame the source: Satan. Oh, and if anyone is saying that this is getting creepy right now please pause a moment and think. Two of the most popular films series right now are Harry Potter and Twilight.

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Going West

on March 9, 2010 - 2:03pm

Over the past two weeks my life has changed so drastically that it’s almost unbelievable. My sisters and I joked as we were driving across the U.S. that we were going west to start a new life. It was actually really nice to be able to drive for 5 days. This country is so beautiful and I’ve barely seen any of it up till now. In many ways I have been extremely trapped and controlled. However, my freedom has always been in God. In His presence I have always been free. That is what has sustained me throughout this difficult time in my life.

Honestly my life is a mystery to me. I have lived through it and can hardly understand it or believe it myself. What I have just begun to realize is that my parents wanted me to be a bad kid. I have always chosen to do the right thing and my parents superficially would say they supported that but in reality they have always wanted me to turn away from God. I know that sounds harsh but trust me, it’s true. When their marriage fell apart they targeted their children. Well, those of us who want to follow God: six of seven children.

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picking up the pieces

on March 2, 2010 - 3:37pm

My sisters and I are safe. My brother took us in and we are living on a very beautiful island off the coast of Washington. Trying to put the pieces of my life back together right now is very difficult. That’s only honest I think. It’s going to take time. I have lived a life ruled by fear. It’s not something that can just be thrown out with the trash. Healing takes time. I hope it comes soon.

I read this psalm this morning. It’s written by King David, one of the greatest kings to ever rule. What made David so great was not his stature but his faith in God. He wasn’t perfect, he made mistakes, big ones, but he always turned to God and found forgiveness. When David wrote this psalm he was fleeing from his son who was trying to kill him. Unfortunately, I can relate to that feeling, but I also know that God will be my shield because He has heard my cry.

Psalm 3
LORD, how they have increased who trouble me!
Many are they who rise up against me.
Many are they who say of me,
“There is no help for him in God.”

But You, O LORD, are a shield for me,
My glory and the One who lifts up my head.
I cried to the LORD with my voice,

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Freedom

on February 25, 2010 - 3:13am

Thanks Josh for putting up this video blog. It’s really encouraging to see children being given the freedom to be themselves.

Freedom is what I’m seeking right now. My sisters and I are literally running away from an abusive situation at home. We’re old enough to leave. My mother has kept my twin sister and I trapped for four years. She’s been severely abusive to all my siblings. She did this in the name of God. That’s why I trusted her. I do believe in God and His love. It’s real. That’s why I am still alive today.

One thing my mother constantly told me was that I could never ask for help from anyone. I only ask for you guys to pray for me. We have reached out to the people who we trust and they are helping us escape. We have a place to run to. We’re traveling from Chicago to the west coast over the next few days with my dog. I know God is helping and protecting us.

I want to say thanks to Josh and his fans. You helped me to realize that there was something wrong with the situation I was in because I wasn’t allowed to live. Jesus offers abundant life. I was in prison. A hell of my mother’s making. I want to say thanks to you all and God Bless You.

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