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Another day, another hour, another minute

on April 27, 2010 - 6:29pm

Everything about this week is slightly off-kilter as I sit and wait for inevitable news….that a person I care about will lose their mother to cancer.

It’s excruciating, even from 850 miles away, getting the daily updates…reports of pain and discomfort and waiting for the shoe to drop.

While some plans can be made, everything is in a bit of limbo. It’s dismal. It’s awful. It’s agony.

When the news was delivered that treatment was over, there was intense sadness of the pending loss….a wish for more time. But now, now the family wishes for an end to this inhumanity.

It’s an incomprehensible situation.

I ache for them.

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on March 30, 2010 - 5:00pm

I've been in contemplation quite a bit lately about directions and what exactly it is that I want.
My problem has always been determining what I want. Once I get that, I am aces at making a plan to get there. But how do I know what I want? Aye, there's the rub. Oftentimes, I will dabble here and there until I find a fit.

So last year I dabbled by creating a Facebook page and had some kicks with a few 'blasts from the past'. However, after a while, it occurred to me that it was all backwards. I don't want to go back to where I was or be with those people I knew long ago. If I wanted that, I'd be there with them. But instead I am far away and living a different life and cherishing different ideals and being my own person. I killed the facebook account.

One thing I know for sure is that I want to go people, new experiences, new challenges. And honestly, my life hasn't really ever been anything BUT that. So why suddenly did I get convinced to look backwards? Dabbler error.

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on February 22, 2010 - 6:28am

I started writing a response to another journal entry, and it got long. So am making it it's own!

I picked up three books this weekend, and one of them was "Committed" By Elizabeth Gilbert. I am very interested to read this book because I know in her book "Eat Pray Love", she had just gone through a devastating divorce and was desperate to never be married again. Yet, somehow she remarried. I am interested to see how she reconciled that thought...because...honestly....I'm in camp "Never marry again".
Now that doesn't mean, never have a relationship again....just, never marry again. And I suppose, I, like Ms. Gilbert, might end up changing my mind as I age.

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on February 11, 2010 - 6:59am

So I've got this kitten, gifted to me a little over a month ago.

And apparently the humane society called him Stewy.
He's SO not a Stewy.

My son thought he looked like Gizmo, from the Gremlins. So we christened him Gizmo.

I have, not once, called him Gizmo.

I seem to prefer to call him one of the following:

Creaky....because he sounds like a creaky door when he mews. I kept telling him that "You sound like a creaky door."
So, creaky became the shorthand for that whole phrase.

But he does do some incredibly stupid things....primarily getting into places that he can't get out of. When he does, I call him dopey.

I also regularly refer to him as kit-cat.
That stemmed from a joke in which someone asked him where he came from. I said he came in a kit from a Sharper Image. They're all the rage.
(in fairness, I also say I grew him in a pot on the lanai. But pot-cat doesn't have quite the same ring to it, ya know?)

So, it's been a month. He needs ONE name.
How about: his Royal Highness, Prince Stewy Gizmo Dopey Kit Cat, hailing from the lands of a Sharper Image, aspca.

CAT for short.

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Nearly a year

on February 2, 2010 - 6:54am

Yesterday on twitter, Lucia Micarelli posted this very moving link:

(mournful, longwinded thoughts ahead. beware. It's mostly therapy for me.)
And it got me to thinking about my own father, who died nearly a year ago at 62. The number says he was young, but the way he died says he was old.



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