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Hi! I'm a hypocrite!

EstherT1's picture
on September 15, 2012 - 12:12am

And a really good one by the way!
Done with one really good stand up now I have to fill a few spots in a Stand up comedy next week. Here I am on my way to being a really good hypocrite!

I have a one time a month Beth-Shalom congregation service of which I did not attend because I promised Jon I will be at Las Guitarras for the opening act. I barely got time to prepare but I just used my old lines! I'm a little coquet from from the all-girls-school! I even sang a song for my good Jewish boyfriend..."Jew raise me UPPP!" I mean You Raise Me UP!" and "Because of Jew!" Next time for Josh, "Body and Soul." OHH! That would be a really good "Quickie lesson!"

So I met a few comedians and all of them love to sing as well. Phil Johnson and Del Van Dyke. I couldn't be any more thankful to be added at the very beginning. I'm creating a new trend! AA meeting for hypocrites..."Hi! My name is Jack...I'm a hypocrite!"

I need to polish my line and next time I will add the reason why my Jewish and Muslim boyfriends got along...I have a better idea for next stand up! Cell Phones for prisoners...Bible named I'mManuel = Manual! I will be voting for Darth Vader and Mickey Mouse for presidency! And by the way everyone knows Darth Vader is Black...or is that just a cover? "Look! I'm your father!"And as far as Mickey Mouse..."Size don't matter!"

I know why Muslims are mad at Jews...Jews never spanked their ass with love! Imagine how the world would be if Jews were spanking those booties!

I know why it's called Freedom to Marry! Certainly...The Priests should have freedom to marry! With the nuns! Imagine all the good children! Living life in Peace! YooHOOO!!! They may say I'm a dreamer...Butt I'm not the only one! This can be one of the few ways to increase Christian/Catholic population!

(Yes! My grandad was a Priest!)

By the way...It's a thrill to make people laugh! Even though I missed the church service. Dear Lord forgive me!

Apple

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