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Nov. 3, where you at?

according2marie's picture
on August 31, 2013 - 3:11pm

I've had a rough few months. Mom had her battle with cancer and that went pretty well. Of course two weeks after the final surgery, she had to get emergency surgery at 1 AM which freaked me out. It was an abdominal abscess but she's back on the mend. Oh and a doctor at Pennsylvania Hospital just told her that he doesn't even see the need for radioactive iodine which some people with thyroid cancer have to go through.

But that was bittersweet news because dysfunction junction happened again. I wrote an op/ed piece for the local paper and I got insulted by friends of family members who simply don't care. My sister tried to fight back and one of my cousins started stuff with me. So yeah, it was tough to be happy about my mom when that happened.

Now here it is a few months later and I'm looking at my calendar and seeing that it's almost two more months until Nov. 3. For some it's another Sunday but for me I have it written in all caps with a gazillion exclamation points: JOSH GROBAN CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'm THAT excited. But why not? I found a lot of love & support in this fandom. When my mom went through her mess with cancer, I would get messages from other Grobanites in my e-mail, on Facebook, and on Tumblr just asking how I was doing. They knew that it did upset me and I don't have that much support aside from the few friends I kept after that Fibromyalgia diagnosis nightmare in 2012 and the few family members I have that care about me live so far away.

I still don't know why a lot of people turned against me but it happened. I'm just glad at least I got this group of people.

For me Nov. 3 is going to be a day that I will never forget. It's funny how moments like that happen. I recall in 2003, I was going through a really bad time and also had some uncertainty about ovarian cancer after the doctors found a mass the size of a melon. That year, Lifehouse played a concert at the university I was going to and truth is I never really felt like I belonged there but I decided to go. It was amazing and for a moment I forgot I had a problem. I still have the T-shirt that Jason Wade (the lead singer) signed for me.

I think Nov. 3, 2013 is going to be one of those moments. I've been a Grobanite since 2007 when my aunt Diane (my mom's older sister) was playing the self-titled debut in her car when we were out shopping in South Jersey one day. I remember listening to his music and just thinking, "He's got the voice of an angel" but now I'm like, "He really IS an angel!"

Why? Well, we've all heard the stories of songs like "You Are Loved" and "Brave" empowering a lot of people but also because of this lovely legion of fans we call the Grobanites.

People think we're nuts but we're not. We're just some fun-loving people who want to show some love in the universe. We're like Little Monsters (Lady Gaga fans) but without the glitter. We're Deadheads minus the illegal drugs like pot & LSD. I'll even say we're like Lifers (Lifehouse fans) but we're of all different ages.

For me, this is perfect. Why? Well, when you're in your 30s and spent a majority of your life feeling like a big freak of nature because you gave a rat's donkey about the kid who got picked on because no one liked the color of his shirt, finding a group that is like you is quite comforting.

I was always THAT kid. I mean, I remember in the ninth grade when a group of boys picked on a girl who was very overweight, I was the ONLY one who was like, "Hey! Not cool!" I was the one who always wanted equality and what was right. Hey, I was the kid that never had to be told by their mama to "play nice."

I was the artsy kid too. In high school I was a writer, I was in the school choir and the drama club too. Man, did I ever get teased for that since there was no outlet for kids like me and my stupid public school made it seem like you had to be a jock to fit in. Nothing against the jocks because I was friends with a lot of the football players (guess it was because the coach always thought I was a cool kid) but it was just I always knew there was more to life than just sports. Besides, unless you are trying to get into the NFL, no one is really going to care if you scored the winning touchdown in your school's final game once you get out of school. All they want to know is one thing: Do you have the skills to pay the bills.

I was the one that a lot of teachers would call one of the nicest kids around. I was also one of the ones that was the one teachers wished there was more of in their classes. Sadly, that image didn't help me much and when I got to college it was worse because at one school I fit in perfectly but at another, I didn't because I didn't want to go pound booze when I wasn't studying. I was the one that was like, "Hey, maybe we should check out this cool thing in Old City instead of going to that kegger." I don't have anything against partying but I just don't go overboard.

So you could imagine how relieved I was when I found the Grobanites. Yeah, at that point I was doing things with my church and that was great. I mean, come on, I was elected vice president of the Catholic Daughters chapter at my church in 2012 but I still felt like I didn't belong. Maybe it was because I went from being the teen & 20-something that had the mentality of someone older to a 30-something who might still feel young but has some old school thinking.

For me this legion of fans is perfect. We're not all the old bitties & soccer moms that everyone thinks we are (I actually met some fans who are younger than me!) and we're also not uptight. Yes, we have the "love one another" mentality but it's not like we're all going to get uptight about a "fart joke." Okay, some of us do but I'll forgive them because that's just a generational thing but there's a lot of us who are like, "Yeah, I may believe in helping others and doing the right thing but I'll throw in something funny and random."

So two more months, right? I'm happy. I mean, I finally find where I belong all because of one CD. Who would have thought that could happen.

November 3 is not just going to be another Sunday for me, it's going to be a day of victory. After this year, I need that. Thankfully I'll be sharing my victory with a group of people that don't mind.

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