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A reason to be Brave

according2marie's picture
on July 4, 2013 - 8:57pm

So in December when I first heard Brave, I thought this was the song I needed to hear at the time I needed it most.

You see, 2012 was nuts for me. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and then I had half of my family shun me for no good reason. Then I had a friend who was in a car accident that everyone says she shouldn't have lived through. I even say she shouldn't have after her husband showed me the photos. Then I had an aunt who got sick. She had a stroke and it really did some damage. She was in and out of the hospital all summer and by the fall, she was gone. That really stung.

You can imagine how I felt when I first heard Brave. It was almost like the song that I needed to hear.

Social stigma is tough. Trust me, I've dealt with it my whole life. As a child I was the nerdy kid who had the learning disability. When I was in high school, I developed a condition that messed up both knees and while the doctor said I could do physical activity but at a slower pace, it knocked out my chances to be among the popular girls and try out for cheerleading. In college, I was the strange girl who no one liked. I actually went to one university where I felt like the token working class kid. Okay, so my dad was a trucker but does that really mean that these kids had to treat me like garbage? Nope.

It got worse because even adults bullied me from the time I was a kid until now. How I ever made it through is anyone's guess.

So in December I thought of Brave as an anthem for people like me who have been through the hell of being hurt in so many ways. It was one of THOSE songs.

I recently revisited this meaning and I find that while it is that song, it's also a song of hope. What made me think of that? Well, my mom.

In June, just two weeks shy of her 60th birthday, my mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Her outlook is really good but it was still upsetting. Of course that mostly was because due to the dysfunction that I call my relatives, I never really got a chance to say good-by to my aunt. That hurt because my dad & I were her only real visitors when she was in the hospital. We didn't even find out she was in a hospice about to die until the night before she died.

Also two weeks before my mom's diagnosis, an endocrinologist was telling me that I have a high risk due to a thyroid condition I have. Of course now I know between this and my mom's diagnosis, my chances are greater.

So I'm sitting there playing with my iPod and first I hear You Are Loved. I'm like, "Okay, I needed to hear that. After that song, I noticed that my iPod was playing Brave. Now I'm thinking that my iPod is trying to play a prank on me.

But I'm sitting there listening and I'm thinking, "This song has a different meaning." Just like You Are Loved, it's a song that screams "You better not give up!"

This is why I think for anyone who has gone through hell, a major illness, or have someone they love going through the illness, you better listen to this song. In fact, I posted the video for Brave on the Facebook page of a friend of mine who was diagnosed with lung cancer right around the time my mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Strange but true.

I've even been thinking about a tattoo I'd like to get one day (if I can find a good tattoo artist). It's a purple butterfly which I thought of getting ever since my Fibromyalgia diagnosis. Of course originally I was going to have put under it "No day but today" which we all know is from the musical Rent but now I'm thinking more on the lines of "You can't hide forever from the thunder" from Brave. All I need is to find a good tattoo artist. Note to self: ask my sister.

I even created a Facebook cover with photos of my mom and the thyroid cancer ribbon with words from Brave in it. My friends think it's so cool.

So yeah, it's become an anthem for me but it's a good anthem.

PS. This has been my ringtone since January. My sister's going nuts about it but I don't care because I love the song!

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