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the ideal girlfriend

straightarrow372's picture
on January 13, 2011 - 6:31pm

Josh said in an interview in Canada that he's looking for a woman who doesn't care whether he travels (WWDCWHT). This led me to a kind of humorous fantasy of a dialog between him and this woman

Josh: [sounding excited & happy & giving her a big hug] Hi, honey! I'm home!
WWDCWHT: [sounding slightly befuddled, awkwardly looking in the other direction] Oh [pause] could you help me move this bookcase? It's full of dustbunnies back there.
Josh: [trying to be patient] Dear, we have a cleaning service for that.
WWDCWHT: [ever so slightly exasperated] Yes, but they don't move the bookcase.
Josh: [with just the slightest tinge of disappointment clouding his normally cheery voice] Don't you want to hear about my trip?
WWDCWHT: [innocently] Have you been away?
Josh: [still excited] I was in Japan for two weeks! It was great! Don't you want to hear about it?
WWDCWHT: [distinterested, but polite] Oh. [pause, w/o conviction and bustling with removing objects from the case] sure, uh, after we move the bookcase [then with some enthusiasm while looking behind the bookcase] I think dustbunnies are amazing. There are just so many of them! Look at the way they blow around!
Josh: [disappointment growing] You didn't know I was gone.
WWDCWHT: {neutral, patient] Sweeney & I have been very busy here. Did you notice he chewed up that expensive oriental rug you bought?

Just the perfect woman.