the ideal girlfriend

the ideal girlfriend

Josh said in an interview in Canada that he's looking for a woman who doesn't care whether he travels (WWDCWHT). This led me to a kind of humorous fantasy of a dialog between him and this woman

Josh: [sounding excited & happy & giving her a big hug] Hi, honey! I'm home!
WWDCWHT: [sounding slightly befuddled, awkwardly looking in the other direction] Oh [pause] could you help me move this bookcase? It's full of dustbunnies back there.
Josh: [trying to be patient] Dear, we have a cleaning service for that.
WWDCWHT: [ever so slightly exasperated] Yes, but they don't move the bookcase.
Josh: [with just the slightest tinge of disappointment clouding his normally cheery voice] Don't you want to hear about my trip?
WWDCWHT: [innocently] Have you been away?
Josh: [still excited] I was in Japan for two weeks! It was great! Don't you want to hear about it?
WWDCWHT: [distinterested, but polite] Oh. [pause, w/o conviction and bustling with removing objects from the case] sure, uh, after we move the bookcase [then with some enthusiasm while looking behind the bookcase] I think dustbunnies are amazing. There are just so many of them! Look at the way they blow around!
Josh: [disappointment growing] You didn't know I was gone.
WWDCWHT: {neutral, patient] Sweeney & I have been very busy here. Did you notice he chewed up that expensive oriental rug you bought?

Just the perfect woman.

I can babysit sweeney and make little paw marks on all the places we go while Josh does his "Thing!" Paw magnets and doggie social. Sweeney will meet all the pedigree and sign up Josh doggie fans!

WNTAWWYJ (Y not take a Wife with You Josh!) As far as I'm concerned why would a wife be bothered about Josh traveling. There's Bill pay! Internet everywhere. Armed with connections on a laptop...No Pwablem!

Who needs a mansion when you can have Josh. Me and Sweeney can write up lyrics from the Bark side and heavens forbid Columbia pictures might just take a script from Mrs. Xosh. We can build an endless scheme of scripts straight out of the tourbus.

CatFish...Oh! That was really Josh...and some mysterious woman who happen stumble over Groban on You Tube. Imagine a Honeymoon on a tourbus...Bumpy bump... Sounds like sexy time to me. Is there shower in that tour bus. And please no Camera... I'm no Kardassian. Films are developed in the dark not out there will all those perverts...

And by the way...Sweeney only gets to hang out in the private room till seven. No third parties in bed. Not even your turtles... No rabbits in the room past 7 PM. Sugars and a lovely dinner is always entertained in the bedroom. No TV in the room... Just candles and some flowers... Sandalwood aroma or Vanilla would be nice. A touch of wine and sexy JOsh...I mean Jazz! I mean Joperah!

Now I know Josh like to play videos...Over my big bottom...You only get to play ones you score...with me...
Now we have skits to write with quills and parchment papers while we nestle over 1,000 thread count silk linnen sheets where all the juicy ideas will be written up. All the little escapades and dazzling dreams. Yosh and I can recreate Hare' E Potter and Philosopher Stool!

OK better stop before things get out of hand here. Goodness gracious...The children might read these dirty notes someday and I will be mortified.

Now no spanking...unless you truly deserve it Josh!

Your words are Very funny.

Question. why not take wife on tour. Josh takes Sweeney. I think your spouse would not mind all the hard work and time you put into each concert if she could fall asleep in your arms each night. Problem solved