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And thus, it begins

Agent009's picture
on January 6, 2011 - 4:56pm

It is with trepidation and a mild sense of anxiety that I stumble into 2011. There's a shadow in the air....the kind that has a smell and a taste, but it's not quite identifiable at this stage in the game.
It's brewing.
And I don't mean the kind of change that causes birds to drop out of the sky or Republicans to take over Congress. No, this change is definitely hitting me on a more personal level. AND, I must say, I'm having trouble reading the tea leaves, but I've a sense that the changes are going to be really good.....eventually. Right now it feels like the start of a journey when you don't know what you're going to have to weather, but you know the destination is going to be picturesque.

There are small hints slithering in the shadows: my manager at work being told that one major directive (and some of our contractors) is being dropped (replaced with what? Anything? Who knows. TBD)
Some of the volunteer work I do is being changed. Haven't decided the navigational path for that yet. I can either roll with the changes in the role I've been doing or completely change my role. It feels like the time to change it. but the options are a bit nebulous.
I'm driving a new (to me) car. His name is Ben. He's a red Ford Escape.
I took initiatives to clean out closets and sort through books. Boxes of things that my son and I have "outgrown" or never ever really 'fit'...they're now in the hands of charity. Oh how I love lightening the load.
But the one change that feels the MOST like a start isn't about me at all.
When my son turned 10, I told him he would be allowed to pick up another 'extra' thing. He's been taking piano lessons since he was 6. I started that when I noticed his amazing sense of rhythm. I played Green Day in the car and he was in the backseat, drumming perfectly to the beats of Tre Cool. I assumed at 10 he would want to start drums. I'm totally ready for it. He'd be great at it.
But when I asked him what he wanted to do, he said "Mom, I think I want to do some singing."
I didn't really know what to say to that. On the tip of my tongue was "Really?" But I think instead I muttered something like "okay let's look into it." while my brain churned on, "drumsdrumsdrums". I know he has a great sense of rhythm, and he's got a really good ear, but can he sing? I mean, we sing silly songs all the time. But whenever it gets even close to serious, he is so quiet that I can't hear him. When I stop singing so I can hear him, he stops. Maybe it's a confidence thing.
But, he persisted that singing was what he wanted. I found a class at a reasonable cost and we went to check it out this week. It's a small group, but the teacher is male (and young and hip and in a band). I think that makes a HUGE difference to my son. He LOVED the class. Think we found a place for him. It feels like a start. We walked out of there and he said "Mom, I don't know what I want to do, but I KNOW, whatever it is, I want it to be about music."
He's 10. That 'want to do' can change a million times between now and adulthood. But for a moment he was so excited....practically electric.... about that class that it made him think it's what he wants to do. His attitude was positively contagious. As his mother, I find myself quietly thrilled for him.

And thus it begins....change is afoot......excited about what the future holds.


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